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The art of networking. The ability to slap a smile on your face and say hello to a stranger, hoping beyond hope that this very person is the ticket to your success. You must have a certain je ne sais quoi to be successful in such an endeavor. An indescribable aura that makes it possible to be so fucking fake. And as a nonbinary girl-thing with autism, I don’t have it.
I’m sorry to break the news, but I'm… a film major. Disgusting, I know. I'm truly the scum of the Earth. And if there's one true cliche about us, it's that networking is our real major. Second only to business majors, we film students schmooze like there's no tomorrow. Quite literally. Like, the only possible reason there is to behave like that is if planet Earth was scheduled to explode in 24 hours.
Today in class I was told that "networking is the name of the game." Shoot me! Please God, put a gun to my head and pull the trigger. I thought I was getting a degree, not playing a goddamn game. But seriously, how do you look a lecture hall full of students in the eyes and tout that the only pathway to success is through leeching off someone else?
The fundamental truth behind networking is a delusion that you’ll "make it." That somehow you're the exception to the rule. That in a class full of 250 wannabes, you're the wannabe who just so happens to be the next Quentin Tarantino. And I'll tell you right now, you're not. And unless you can somehow slip foot porn into the next Oscar nomination, you never will be.
As the next Tarantino or Anderson or Nolan or whoever else you convince yourself you'll be as great as, isn't networking below you? The very nature of being a film student means you think you’re better than everyone, so while you network, you're really just associating with the common folk. The other 249 of you who won't make it anywhere at all. The peasants who will one day wait by the phone, hoping you call.
While these film majors may claim that you can never have enough friends, I argue you definitely can. Especially when they're not your friends. Are you really texting that guy in your directing class when your dog dies? I think not. You are, however, the first to reach out when he gets the internship you wanted. How sweet! What are friends for if not to be frothing-at-the-mouth jealous over?
What really gets me about the whole concept of networking is the very fact that it requires one to acknowledge the most fundamental problem in the film industry while doing nothing to fix it. In a perfect world, success would be based on talent, skill and a unique perspective. And yet, the most successful person out of all of us wannabes is going to be the guy with the fullest contact book. It’s pathetic.
I'll admit, maybe it's me. Maybe I'm the problem. I'll be the first one to cop to being a weirdo with little to no social skills — not exactly an ideal candidate for schmoozing. Or perhaps the reason I find this all so abhorrent is my rampant individuality complex. Or I'm like that guy in the Matrix (never seen it), and I'm the only one who realizes how goddamn stupid this all is. Or maybe I just have autism. Who's to say?
Edited by Savannah Dagupion, Leah Mesquita and Audrey Eagerton.
This story is part of The Culture Issue, which was released on February 26, 2025. See the entire publication here.
Reach the reporter at cageare@asu.edu and follow @notevilclaire on X.
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