Let me start out by saying I am not a cynical, lonely teenage girl who hates romantic comedies and fairy tale endings. I'm a big fan of love, but somehow the idea of soul mates still seems far fetched. Pop culture's idea of love is based on a spontaneous desire to be with another person. The concept of soul mates has been made into an exciting real life manhunt but it leaves me feeling about as excited as Eli Manning when his brother won the Super Bowl last weekend.
The premise of a soul mate is that they are the one and only person that you are destined to be with. You will truly know happiness when you are with them. There are 7.5 billion people on the planet! How is anyone supposed to find the perfect one?
Think about it: No matter where you live or how long you’ve lived there, you can find someone you love to build a life with. Isn’t that amazing? That thought alone should bring you more joy than the thought of a soul-mate. The more people you’re suitable with, the more chances you have to not end up as the “crazy cat lady.”
The amount of risk involved with soul mates is worrisome. What if your soul mate is confused and thinks they belong with someone else? Or what if the guy you see across the bar is the be-all and end-all of your existence but you never have the courage to go say 'hi'? Does this mean you are destined to be alone and unhappy for the rest of your life? I would sure as heck hope not. I never want to think that I settled with “Mr. Alright” as my husband because I never ran into “Mr. Otherhalf.”
The idea of soul mates is based on a “right place, right time” mentality and if I’ve learned anything in my life it’s that things don’t always work out the way you planned. I truly believe that there is more than one person for everyone. A healthy relationship is rooted in compatibility and a connection with another individual, not simply in fate. Relationships are formed throughout time with hard work and sacrifice, they can't pop-up out of nowhere and be expected to last. Since it is a constant give-and-take your bond should be deeper than an initial spark or a whim.
Many people find their life-partners while they are in college. I think this proves the fact that proximity and time spent together are larger factors of a relationship than the way the stars were aligned. It would be incredibly odd to meet the love of your life at 18 years old when you have rarely left a 25-mile radius of where you grew up. If you live until you are 90, who is to say that in that time you couldn't meet more than one person who shares your kindred spirit.
Maybe you could get me to believe in soul mates if it wasn’t so hard to know when you’d finally met them. If upon meeting the Harvey to your Sabrina there was a huge neon arrow that appeared above them or they had a halo of light with a choir of angels singing behind them then yes, I would have to agree that they exist. However, this is not how things happen except for in carefully scripted movies and maybe even cartoons. You’re going to have to trust in more than luck when it comes to love.
Everyone deserves true happiness whether it's owning ten puppies, being single, marrying the person of your dreams or even eating pizza for breakfast, lunch and dinner everyday. So go out with your friends and order that dessert, or land that job, or find “the one” and move to the suburbs with a minivan to take your kids to soccer in. Do whatever makes you happy. Just because soul mates aren’t real it doesn’t mean love isn’t.
Reach the columnist at kamaher1@asu.edu or follow @KatieMaher97 on Twitter.
Editor’s note: The opinions presented in this column are the author’s and do not imply any endorsement from The State Press or its editors.
Want to join the conversation? Send an email to opiniondesk.statepress@gmail.com. Keep letters under 300 words and be sure to include your university affiliation. Anonymity will not be granted.
Like The State Press on Facebook and follow @statepress on Twitter.
