If I make a more money than my boyfriend, does that make him less of a man? Of course not. Too bad society doesn’t agree.
The alpha-female is positive construct of the 21st century. Women asserting themselves as the dominant figure is now present in many relationships, families and offices. There are girlfriends who pay for dates, mothers who are the primary breadwinners and companies with female CEOs.
No, not every social group has adopted this mindset and not every role has been adapted. However, we are far more advanced in this arena than we have ever been. While this is a great thing, it is not enough for us to solely acknowledge women’s capabilities, we must relinquish the associated expectations for men as well.
We are caught in a difficult middle ground where it is not fully accepted that women assume the alpha position, but they are generally able and often do maintain them. This makes it difficult to establish either mindset as a social norm, often times leaving men on their own in determining whether their female counterpart assuming such a role is a positive or threatening thing.
More often than not, it is viewed to be threatening because we, as a society, have still not fully let go of the expectation that men are supposed to take care of their women. This creates a contradictory, confusing mentality. It is one that teaches young boys to protect and take care of their women, but teaches young girls to protect and take care of themselves.
Because of this, a woman assuming the dominant role in a relationship often breeds a sense of inadequacy within the male(s) in their life. This mentality serves as a hindrance, making it more difficult for us to ever become fully enlightened.
The importance of an equal partnership is not to be overlooked. It is important, and quite necessary, to establish a balance within all relationships. Even if a female assumes the position of the breadwinner, it is possible to still find and maintain balance within the relationship without the pressure to perform within a certain confine.
Stay-at-home dads are a great example of this. While the traditional gender roles may be reversed, each partner is contributing n a substantial way. The feeling of inadequacy in this, and most similar, situations stems from the associated stigma with being a non-working father — AKA not performing within the confines associated with one’s gender.
I feel like our generation is gonna be full of stay at home dads.....
Just lazy af
— Gorgeous_Latin_Queen (@LatinGorgeous) October 14, 2015
There will always be people who believe relationships should follow traditional gender roles. People think men should pay for dates, open doors and support women financially. While this belief system is not wrong, it's not our reality. And men who feel emasculated by such advancements are going need to learn to woman-up.
Okay, maybe they don’t have to “woman-up,” but America is no longer a man’s world and its future seems to be shifting even more. It is necessary that we redefine femininity and masculinity and how they affect our expectations of the opposing sex. Once we do that — once we accept that a shift in power does not need to be a power struggle — we can all come to terms with the balance between the sexes.
Related Links:
Rigid gender roles hurt relationships
With 'Dear Future Husband,' Meghan Trainor proves she's all about that traditional gender role
Reach the columnist at rblumen2@asu.edu or follow @500wordsofrayne on Twitter.
Editor’s note: The opinions presented in this column are the author’s and do not imply any endorsement from The State Press or its editors.
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