(Photo courtesy of Focus Features)The absurdity of a story about BDSM and based on “Twilight” is ever-present in the film version of the bestselling romance novel, “50 Shades of Grey.” While Dakota Johnson gives a surprisingly not annoying performance as Anastasia Steele, Jamie Dornan really would have been better off existing solely as eye-candy and staying silent the entire movie.
Frumpy yet alluring Ana first meets Christian Grey, a remarkably good looking and young CEO with a dark side, while interviewing him in place of her sick roommate. They are instantly fascinated with each other and despite Christian’s attempts to tell Ana he is no good for her, they begin a sexual relationship that is complicated by Christian’s “singular interests”: BDSM, a dominant and submissive arrangement involving bondage and discipline.
By far the best scene of the movie was Christian and Ana’s helicopter flight to his humble penthouse abode in downtown Seattle with the city skyline gleaming around them, as Ellie Goulding’s “Love Me Like You Do” plays in the background. Ellie Goulding stole the show, and she wasn’t even in it.
Now to the real question, how did the producers take the book’s vividly descriptive sex scenes and put them on the screen? Pretty easily, actually. They just cut out all of Ana’s dumb inner monologue from the book and left the simple act of having sex.
The most shocking part in any sex scene was actually Ana’s leg hair noticeably backlit from the Seattle sykline as Christian undressed her for the first time. Must be a Seattle thing.
The hype about BDSM in “50 Shades” is really just hype. They’re just sex scenes, largely focused on Ana, not particularly steamy and relatively tame. Compared to “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo,” “50 Shades” is a two on the graphic scale. While Dornan is lovely to stare at and has a remarkable behind, the nudity doesn’t make up for terrible chemistry. I’ve seen much better chemistry in fully clothed scenes.
In fact, Christian and Ana’s passionate first kiss in an elevator is ten times hotter than any of the five sex scenes.
Dornan epically fails at his attempt to act. He does not do Christian Grey justice. Yes, the character is bizzarre in the book, but Christian is supposed to exude confidence, charm and intimidation. Dornan’s inability to be convincing is responsible for almost every awkward moment in the movie. He delivers his lines like a second grader in his first school play: short, clipped and with an expressionless monotone.
Kudos to Johnson for doing the unthinkable and taking the annoying and unrelatable Ana from the book and making her playful and fun to watch. Johnson is the best kind of foil to Dornan’s dull Christian Grey. In a movie that revolves around sex, her genuine humor made scenes that could have been extremely uncomfortable actually entertaining. It’s like we’re all laughing along with Johnson at just how stupid some of this is, mainly stuff Christian says. The best lines in the whole movie were little one liners Johnson delivered as perfect comedic relief, in an almost Kristen Wiig style.
Don’t expect much from the ending. It’s anticlimactic and ridiculous. Just remember this is a movie with no real plot, so a real ending is way too much to ask for.
The good news is the script isn’t quite as cringe-worthy as the book, and there is no mention of Ana’s “inner goddess,” aside from a small Easter egg meant as a shout out to readers. And to anyone else as bothered as I am by book Ana’s preference for the hot water she calls tea, that too is thankfully absent.
Reach the reporter at enichol3@asu.edu or follow @LizNichols4 on Twitter
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