With all this yammering about the capitalist orgy of Black Friday and Thanksgiving yams in the crisp autumn air, your head is probably spinning. Don’t fear, dear reader, your guide to the stars is here with a special dose of mysticism to guide you through the long weekend.
You’ll feel extra intuitive in the coming days, which should be of use as you attempt to navigate all the perilous conversation topics of Thanksgiving dinner (“So, what are you doing after you graduate?”, “Are you seeing anyone? Is it serious?”, etc.). Be wary of revealing too many details to your family, but don’t just dance around their well-intentioned queries either. A little bit of honesty goes a long way when you’re chatting with your grandma about your academic endeavors.
The tea leaves at the bottom of my mug read as follows: “Home will be a source of joy for you due to some forthcoming good news.” I’m still not quite sure why the tea leaves always seem to read like generic fortune cookies, but the tea leaves never lie. Allow your guide to tack on a few things: (a) this good news will not involve any crazy discounts on plasma screen televisions and (b) the good news will only make itself known if you socialize with your family. No sulking about in the corner or mindlessly scrolling through Facebook during Turkey Day for you, Taurus.
This year, Thanksgiving will be all about refusing to give in to temptation, Gemini. The temptation the stars speak of, however, isn’t of the expected variety; it’s the temptation to mix business with pleasure. Your schedule is jam-packed right now and your to-do list is only getting longer by the second, but Thanksgiving is not the day to obsessively check your emails or outline papers in your head. Let these concerns hang out on the back burner — at least until Black Friday. Who needs to wait in line outside Target when you could be nice and toasty inside with a paper to keep you company?
The stars are throwing out buzzwords like “health” and “fitness” for you this week, which seems a bit ill-timed with a double feature of gluttony rounding the week out. It’s wise to heed cosmic advice, though, even if it means you only eat two pieces of pie instead of three. With regard to exercise, I don’t know what that is. Consider eating a few salads this week to balance out the forthcoming pie frenzy.
You’ll find your thoughts drifting down a river of romance this Thanksgiving — well, actually, your thoughts will be up in the clouds all week long. There’s a nifty little alignment happening among the planets right now that will not only boost your luck in the game of “love,” it’ll also boost your creative spirit. You can really use this to your advantage. Consider making one of those hand turkeys or getting a head start on decorating your abode for Christmas. Your guide to the stars hears there are some mad rad decorations to be found at the 99¢ Only Store.
Thanksgiving weekend will deliver some unexpected (but very welcome) guests to your doorstep this year. Invite them in for a slice of pie or whatever shareable food you have and “rekindle the great Flame of Camaraderie that may have dwindled,” but that last bit in quotes is delivered to you verbatim from the tea leaves. Please appreciate the complete deconstruction of the Beatle’s classic, “With A Little Help From My Friends” courtesy of The Flaming Lips.
The stars are predicting a weekend of clear communication channels for you, talkative Libra. Use this to your advantage and reconnect with a few folks/friends/distant family members whom you haven’t talked to in a while. While the rampant consumerism of Black Friday may nearly eclipse the true meaning of Thanksgiving, there’s still plenty of room left to express your gratitude to all of the rad people in your life. You’ll be flitting around like a social butterfly all weekend, but don’t move too quickly. Settle into a long conversation with an old friend and genuinely reconnect.
Mars is doing some funky things in your chart’s sector of communication, leaving you with an inexplicable urge to get some things off your chest. Perhaps the middle of Thanksgiving dinner is not the ideal time to start airing your grievances. Wait until the weekend when you can sit down, process your thoughts and come up with a strategically chosen time to bare your soul.
Someone’s in their element this week, Sagittarius. No need to blush. You’re killing it right now. Good social and creative vibes are pumping through you to the deepest level of your spirit right now, and this will be a week of launching plans, list making and organizing social events. Family members more attuned to the ways of the stars may sense this burst of energy within you, which means they’ll probably pull you onboard to help with the whirlwind production of Thanksgiving dinner. We all must do our part to make that meal a success. Gone are the days when Grandma should be left to slave away in the kitchen by herself. Pick up a spatula and, uh, do something!
You’ll be torn between two opposing desires this coming weekend, dearest Capricorn. On one hand, you’re fired up and ready to annihilate every last task on your to do list. On the other foot, you really just want to kick up your feet and binge watch some mind-numbing television. Here’s a novel suggestion for you: Do a little bit of both over the long weekend. Set aside time to be both a fiery socialite (you know, with your family and stuff) as well as some time to bond with “A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving.”
The forthcoming weekend of gluttony and consumerism is the ideal time to expand your social horizons. Consider wandering over to a new group of people at that Post-Thanksgiving Potluck you know you’re going to end up at or reconnecting with some old comrades of yours. Whatever you do, don’t spend the weekend holed up in your bed watching every Thanksgiving episode of every television show ever. Your communication towers are on top of their game this week; don’t let that go to waste.
Don’t think your trusty guide to the stars forgot that he left you hanging last week with some frustratingly vague advice about a ton of open doors. I’m back with advice that might be construed as equally vague: take a leap of faith this week. Maybe this means talking to your somewhat kooky aunt during Thanksgiving, but what’s more likely is that the stars suggest you take a much larger leap into the unknown. That’s not to discount the tales your aunt could probably tell you about the “good ol’ days” when she was in college. Those are probably out of this world.
Reach the guide to the stars at Zachariah.Webb@asu.edu or follow him for sage advice for protesting the capitalist orgy of Black Friday on Twitter at @zachariahkaylar
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