According to the stars — such hopeless things, the stars — Mercury is “technically” still in retrograde (it’s called “shadow retrograde” and will hang around until Nov. 10), which is just a bummer extraordinaire. Communication towers remain toppled, and no one can see the complete truth, so your humble guide thought to himself: Why not throw out the star charts and tea leaves for a bit and rely on some good ol’ fashioned fortunetelling for a week? You’re still getting a song to match the thematic overtones of my trusty predictions (I would never short you on that), but I’m opting for a more optimistic reading of the future — courtesy of what the Internet calls a whirlybird, cootie catcher, flapdapper and bumbledumpling. You could just call it a paper fortuneteller, too. I’ll pull out my star charts next week, when Mercury has drifted out of retrograde to pick on other celestial beings.
Emotions will swell,
But only your heart of hearts can tell,
Which potential path will turn out well.
Don’t be too impulsive with your choices,
As there are a great many voices,
Pulling you this way and that way.
But, hey, this could be the week when a new love decides to stay.
Don’t let your anxieties be a trouble,
They are but temporary bubbles.
There is a full moon in your sign,
Making your powers of insight divine.
A spotlight of truth will shine,
On a friend or lover of thine,
This news may be quiet,
The truth does not always reveal itself in a riot.
Things are bound to get better—
I mean, it’s sweater weather—
Which comes just in time,
To complete your guide’s rhyme.
Gemini, it’s time for a few changes,
But, oh, how the feeling often ranges,
On what you’d like to see revised.
This week, though, you’ll feel quite wise.
You already know what to do,
The answer has practically come out of the blue.
There is one thing you must concentrate on first
In order to satisfy your thirst.
The road often takes sudden turns,
But you, Cancer, must not feel burned,
For the hand of Fate,
May be leading you to a new mate.
You must, as they say, “roll with the punches,”
Or “be willing to pay for unexpected lunches.”
What I’m trying to say,
Is not to let obstacles halt your way.
Spread your social wings,
Your voice practically sings.
There is a full moon in your house
Of friendship, so says your guide.
Hang out with friends for a swell ride.
A change of scenery is in the air,
Don’t be tremulous; ascend the stair
There are good vibes awaiting,
All yours for the taking.
There is a new chapter forming,
Now is not the time for mourning.
In this new place, you mustn’t be nervous,
On this, your guide’s wisdom is impervious.
Dear Virgo, mind your pace,
Not all of life is such a crazy race,
You’ve arrived at such a nice place,
So take some time to enjoy this new space.
Things this week may get quite intense,
Don’t you worry; things will soon make sense.
You’re spinning so many plates today,
That it may be hard to tear yourself away,
But if you don’t give yourself time to breathe,
Tempers may soon seethe.
This week, you may catch the shopping bug,
A difficult urge to push under the rug,
But allow for some practicality in the equation.
This may take some persuasion,
But buy only things of true worth.
In this, you may feel a sense of rebirth.
But remember, dear Libra, that nothing could be worse,
Than a string of mystical verse,
Sung by celestial ad men into your ear.
Keep your thoughts clear:
With regard to spending a lot of money, away you must steer.
Things are going your way,
And it seems the good vibes are here to stay.
You are magnetic,
Practically poetic,
One might say.
To keep bad vibes at bay,
Keep a close eye on a key relationship,
Potentially as fragile as a corn chip.
To you, they may hold up a mirror,
And perhaps the reflection will be queer,
But don’t fret,
You will take the right step.
You are feeling quite introspective,
But remember that your perspective,
Is entirely subjective.
You’ve delved rather deep into the dream,
To see what facts you could glean;
However, now is the time to pull your head from the cloud,
And take a look around.
My advice is quite sound,
Especially because a change is around
The bend in the road,
And you alone have the code.
Your social agenda is at the forefront,
But for hidden agendas should you be on the hunt.
Don’t be fast to seal any deals,
Until you’re certain about your feels.
With a new romance,
Give them a chance,
Just don’t be afraid to go slow.
Allow time for things to grow,
Of their own accord.
Give into impulses now, and you’ll later be bored.
Along the path, you may stop and wonder:
Is the direction I’ve chosen a blunder?
You can be honest now,
But, first, take a moment to lie on the ground,
Looking up at the stars will astound.
(They can be full of tiny wisdoms,
These celestial prisms).
After ample mediation, you might find
A goal you’ve had is not aligned
With who you want to be.
Don’t be afraid to let yourself sightsee.
There are a great many options,
The length of the list is not stoppin’.
This week, you will transform,
And what comes will be quite out of the norm.
Don’t be afraid of sweeping reform,
To plans you’ve held for a while.
You’ve got to be versatile!
A note, however, about these changes in store:
Changing for others is a bore.
Your evolution is a personal project,
Last time I checked.
Reach the guide to the stars at Zachariah.Webb@asu.edu or follow him for sagely advice on Twitter at @zachariahkaylar
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