(Photo Courtesy of Doubleday)
This weekend, having no immediate plans, I decided to set out on a new literary adventure. After browsing through the many sections of recommendations on my Nook’s e-book store, a particular one caught my eye: Stephen King’s "Carrie." Figuring that the adorable little girl from "Kick-Ass" would never put her face on the cover of something that would leave me disappointed (admittedly, "If I Stay" should have taught me a lesson), I decided to cough up the $8 and set out on what may have been one of the most jarring experiences of my entire life.
Having read the description on the back of the book and expecting a sentimental tale about a girl overcoming years of abuse at the hands of her peers and mother, then leading herself to a fulfilling life with a few vengeful hijinks along the way. What I was not looking forward to, however, was the lurid bloodbath that was to fill the next 250 pages.
From teenage intercourse in the back of a Ford to girls being locked in closets to gossip in the hallways, this book featured a flurry of sins and wrongdoings that have all become commonplace in high school culture. However, combined with the telekinetic daughter of a future Westboro Baptist Church member and some oddly late-onset puberty, this can lead to what I like to call the overreaction of the century.
With a mother whose shame in her own body rivals even that of notorious never-nude Tobias Fünke (“There’s dozens of us!”), it’s to be expected that Carrie White’s journey to sexual awakening would have a few bumps in the road. But isn’t it a tough time for everyone? No one enjoys their formative years of maturation, but everyone else seems to have found the self-control not to slaughter the whole town over a little pig blood dumped on your head at the prom.
And really, who wears a red dress to prom? What was she expecting to happen? Your mother warned you about this, girl!
Guess who didn’t win prom queen?
In short, the moral of the story is this: Keep your sanitary napkins, hog fluids and mind-warping powers to yourself, and everything will be all right. There’s no need to behave like animals, teenagers of Maine.
Reach the reporter at ezentner@asu.edu or follow her on Twitter @emilymzentner
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