I recently read an article in The Atlantic in which a female to male transgender person expressed an interesting point of view in the debate over gender expression and gender identity.
Men today are less likely to get a college degree, more likely to be unemployed and less likely to spend an adequate amount with their children than their female counterparts. This isn't to say that women's advancement is bad, but that the traditional view of masculinity as breadwinner is quickly vanishing.
In the media, men are bombarded with everything from classic beer commercial stereotypes to the media's "defense" of Steubenville. These types of classical examples as shown in The Atlantic article pigeonhole masculinity.
As social norms shift for women, men's roles in society change as well. Does a man have to live up to the classical example of masculinity?
Thomas Page McBee, author of the article in The Atlantic, learned the rules of manhood as "don't cross your legs, don't talk too fast, don't admit confusion, don't ask for help, don't make eye contact with strangers, don't cry."
These unstated rules are a fascinating exhibit of how rigid the world of manhood truly is.
As with any social norm, the true way to redefine the way society looks at men is to slowly overturn the "normalcy" of masculinity.
Seeing that each person has a responsibility to create themselves, we should not allow men to fall back on the assumption that they are masculine simply because they are a man. Sometimes, this isn't a fall back but society forcing a man into that singular expression of masculinity.
It's a fascinating study of gender roles especially in marriage. While women are "supposed" to be taking care of some chores, men are equally put into a box about what they should be doing.
The recent gay marriage arguments and those made in the LGBTQ sphere take these issues and really break them down and turn them inside out.
By really effectively wearing gender roles and placing them inside contexts outside traditional heterosexual relationships, the community can show what works and what doesn't.
For example, sometimes traditional masculinity works for an individual. Sometimes it is best to be "bros" and talk about "sports." Sometimes it's best to be a "wine-drinking feminist," as the author of the article is.
The author ends the article by quoting a friend also struggling to redefine masculinity, "'It's almost a curse,' he tells me, over coffee. 'Once you see masculinity, you can't unsee it.'"
The real message of redefining masculinity is that each person should be given control of their gender expression, and that's the kind of egalitarian and accepting society in which we should live.
Tell Peter what it feels like to be a man at Peter.Northfelt@asu.edu or follow him on Twitter @peternorthfelt
