Drive 10 miles. Pull into park-and-ride. Take train five stops. Walk to bus station. Take bus three miles. Climb mountain. Find wizard. Defeat Balrog. Cast ring into fires of Mordor. Make it to class sweaty and out-of-breath.
Grab your nearest and dearest hobbit companion, because getting to class during future semesters will be a trip worthy of documentation by trilogy.
While well-intentioned, soon-to-be-implemented measures such as walk-only zones and the removal of beloved parking spots like Lot 59 have us wondering how much time it will take to get to class.
Not only will Lot 59, which is most popular during football season, be gone, but Lot 20 near University Drive and Mill Avenue, which is a hot spot for Mill Avenue District patrons, will be turned into a hotel and conference center.
These lots are among several that students frequent to ensure parking near campus is a possibility. Now, with their absence, former patrons will find themselves scrambling for the few other inexpensive parking spots or parking at a public transit station and using the Metro Light Rail (not to mention, the prices for a U-Pass will increase for the fall semester as well).
Home football games tend to breed madness to begin with; now, with a lack of nearby parking spaces, they will resemble the apocalypse. Chances are, you would be better off rolling down the road on one of those stupid scooter boards from elementary school P.E. than driving to campus.
Walk-only zones are another story. In light of the failed Walk Your Wheels campaign, administration will be implementing zones in which only walking will be permitted during heavy-traffic hours — one of which is located from the Memorial Union to Hayden Lawn. While there's nothing more annoying than bicyclists and skateboarders who nip at your heels or just short of run you over, creating zones in which only walking is permitted sounds like failure in the making.
Just as it's difficult to remedy the rush-hour problem of drivers who just can't seem to drive, there's no simple solution to solving bicyclist/skateboarder/pedestrian etiquette issues. In short: Unless it's enforced strictly, students will probably continue to ride their wheeled devices speedily through the walk-only zones.
Getting to campus among the 70,000-plus other students who are trying to get to campus makes these parking and biking restraints tedious. It's already a difficult process considering the sheer mass of people who occupy ASU without involving the limited amount of parking that's currently available.
So, get ready. Because the coming semester will involve waking up earlier to snag one of the few parking spots, taking a train or bus and mapping out routes through campus that are bike-able.
After all, it's a dangerous business, going out your front door.
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