I just moved to Tempe, and it didn’t take long to realize that disgusting neighbors surround me.
They have a distinct putrid smell, like wet garbage soaked in toilet bowl cleaner.
They make strange noises that sound like they emanate from the pits of Hell, as if they’re having a Linda Blair impersonation contest that lasts late into the night.
But worst of all, they openly fornicate and defecate in my yard.
Chances are, you might have similar neighbors. They go by the Latin, “felis catus,” or, more commonly, the domestic cat.
The cats I’ve encountered can hardly be considered domesticated. Most of them are feral, with little to no contact with humans, so trying to pet or handle one of these animals is useless. To a feral cat, you’re nothing but a giant, hideous monster that wants to eat it.
It’s no secret why Tempe is overrun with stray and feral cats — it’s the irresponsibility of its residents. Residents refuse to spay or neuter their cats, letting them roam freely in the neighborhood.
Also, rising populations of these animals increase rates of cat leukemia and Feline Immunodeficiency Virus, the feline equivalent of HIV. It’s strongly recommended and even required by adoption shelters that residents don’t let their cats roam outside, since the likelihood of cats catching one of these diseases is so high.
Currently, Maricopa County Animal Care & Control will only pick up stray cats if they have bitten someone. If there are colonies of cats in your neighborhood you’d like taken care of, you can trap it yourself and bring it to a MCACC facility, which will charge a $96 fee.
Depending on your health insurance, it may be cheaper to provoke a cat to bite you, therefore requiring the MCACC to trap it under state law. All you have to pay for is the medical bills for the puncture wounds and tetanus shot.
There are numerous solutions to these problems, some of which are better than others.
Putting some Energizer AA batteries in a bowl of milk for the kitties is not one of them.
In all seriousness, the best solution is the “Trap, Neuter, Release” method, where the cats are neutered and have their ears “clipped” before being released so that they can be identified.
This approach is more effective and humane than the standard practice of euthanizing stray/feral cats, which is what happens after they’re trapped. This causes what’s known as the “vacuum effect,” which states that eliminating certain members of wild cat populations only opens up resources and territory for others, and can actually increase fighting/breeding in the newly depopulated area.
Mating season is right around the corner, so please do the common courtesy of spaying or neutering your cats and please — don’t let them roam outside.
Reach the columnist at Damills3@asu.edu or follow him @Dan_iel_Mills.
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