I may not be Katy Perry’s vision of one, but I am a California girl.
I was born and raised in a little town just east of Los Angeles, called Montebello. The decision to leave, not only my town, but my entire state was a big one. However, I have come to love Arizona, despite all its flaws. Now that I am on the cusp of graduation, I have more big decisions to make, like which place I can call home.
According to recent data, 23 percent of ASU students are out of state and thus, they’ll have to make the same decisions I do when they graduate. It’s a strange feeling knowing I am separated from the most members of the student body with more than my significantly larger tuition bill.
I am different because I have no one place to call home.
Over the years studies, like one from CNN, reveal that homesickness isn’t about home. It’s about the need to feel accepted, comfortable, safe and loved. Despite our individuality, we all have a need to feel connected and to feel safe. That’s what home really means — it’s the place and the people who make us feel secure.
So where is my home?
I feel like I’m the baby bird in P.D. Eastman’s classic children’s book, “Are you my Mother?” Except that I wander around asking myself, “Is this home?” I talk to my family — not often enough — I visit home — only occasionally — and it never seems to be enough.
Maybe it’s not because I’m missing California, or even Montebello. Maybe I miss the support I have there.
That sounds so depressing, I know. Let me be clear: I have incredible friends here in Arizona. I have support systems that helped me through the last four years. That’s one of the reasons why I want to stay out here after graduation. I want to build a home and life here.
With that said, I’ve had to re-evaluate what home means to me. As the U.S. News World Report suggests, I’ve been using “snail mail’’ to reconnect with my family and friends back in Cali. It’s been really helpful. The feeling I get when I receive a letter from my Mama, or my little brother or sister is so warm and inviting. I feel closer to my family knowing that there was time and thought put into our communication and I hope they feel the same way.
I think that the best solution for me has been to stay busy, focus on the things I love about Arizona, and to put time and effort into my communications with my family. At the end of the day, it is exactly as Maya Angelou writes, “You can never go home again, but the truth is you can never leave home, so it's all right.”
Reach the columnist at Alexandria.tippings@asu.edu or follow her @Lexij41.
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