There are some songs to be proud of — owning the entire Beatles discography is something most would say is impressive.
There are other songs that should only be listened to in private — not all people think the Backstreet Boys are still cool.
There always seems to be a playlist to flaunt to friends and also one to be embarrassed about. Most people can think of a number of Songs You Don’t Want Mom to Hear that occupy the depths of iPods and MP3 players.
Drivers speed down the freeway, rocking out to what appear to be the best tunes ever, but are actually a karaoke bar’s nightmare. Even the worst songs have a place in someone’s special playlist.
Most embarrassing song: “The Rainbow Connection” by Kermit the Frog. "The Rainbow Connection" brings out the inner "lover" and "dreamer." It's almost too much sweetness for one song.
“Careless Whisper” by George Michael. It isn’t embarrassing; it just drives most people crazy. Two thumbs up!
“A Thousand Miles” by Vanessa Carlton. This song is included solely to make people laugh.
A song you wouldn’t listen to with Mom: “Peacock” by Katy Perry. Perry creates a very catchy and enjoyable track. However, there is nothing more awkward than listening to a song that's basically propositioning a guy with your mom. Imagining Mom explain the hidden meaning behind Perry’s lyrics is frightening.
“Killing in the Name of” by Rage Against the Machine. Getting inexplicable urges to fight the “Man” is normal. Watching others cower in the corner while this urge is happening is not so normal.
"Gonorrhea" by Lil Wayne. It is physically painful to envision Mom listening to this song.
The “Getting it On” song: "Because of You" by Ne-Yo. It's a Ne-Yo song — no further explanation necessary.
“I Smell Sex and Candy” by Marcy Playground. A modern alternative to the Marvin Gaye cliché.
“Pusherman” by Curtis Mayfield. Just listen and you’ll know why.
“Touch Me I’m Going to Scream, Part II” by My Morning Jacket. If in the heat of the moment your partner uttered, “If you touch me / I just think I’d scream / ‘Cause its been so long since someone challenged me,” it would be game over.
The homework song: “Fast Lane” by Eminem and Royce da 5'9. Instant adrenaline in the form of a 4-minute, 9-second MP3 file.
“I Should Be Sleeping” by Emerson Drive. Instead of sleeping, there are essays to write all night.
Anything from Girl Talk. The extremely unfocused direction of his music can strangely make students feel productive.
The karaoke song: “This Must be the Place (Naïve Melody)” by Talking Heads. Imagine this with lots of head bops.
“Billie Jean” by Michael Jackson. Fedora, blazer and glove included along with a moonwalk.
“One Week” by Barenaked Ladies. To know all the words to this song is among one of the greatest accomplishments any person will possess in their lifetime.
Reach the reporter at arts.statepress@gmail.com
