The Occupy Phoenix protesters plan on occupying the light rail Thursday, which brings up a very important question: What do those who don’t have time to occupy with the Occupiers occupy instead of Occupying the classroom or their work places?
Well, we have a couple preferred locations.
#OccupyBed
It is arguably the most important location in all of our lives, and many of us would love to spend more time there. The Arizona winter months are here and it is going to get a little frosty in the mornings, which is exactly why we should stay in bed until noon. Plus, a shower is nearby and you stay out of everyone’s way.
#OccupyShopping
Buy all the things! Black Friday is right around the corner and holiday shopping may have already begun. Shopping is a great stress reliever for many people* and the stores are ready for it. It is time to spend money on something you enjoy and not care about spreading the wealth. Be the 1 percent for a day, and occupy the mall.
#OccupyXBox
“Modern Warfare 3” was recently released, right? It’s time to lean back in that power recliner and truly celebrate your free time by wasting it, which isn’t much different than the original Occupy protesters. Many gamers* that are stuck in the classroom would love this opportunity.
#OccupyUSairwayscenter
Nobody else is doing it, we’re looking at you Phoenix Suns. Thanks to the lockout, that's one less place fans can occupy. All that’s left is to Occupy Sun Devil Stadium and watch Alex Garoutte miss field goals.
#OccupyFood
We need some cranberry sauce and we needed it yesterday. Sometimes food is difficult to come by with a busy schedule. Red Bulls and Pop Tarts can only last for so long, and the time is now to take back the dinner table. Who says that only the 1 percent of college students with the money and time to eat are allowed to enjoy full meals? It is time to stand up and occupy the deli at your local supermarket.
#OccupyBarstool
The barstool is arguably the most important seat during a college career. It is a spot for discussion, argument and celebration. We’re pretty positive that electricity was invented over a pitcher of Sam Adams Octoberfest. It’s time for ASU students to rise and practice that drunk walk home from the bar. Occupy your local dive bar, which actually puts the Occupy Wall Street values of sticking it to the man into practice.
(*ladies)
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