Dear 99 percent,
Before we even get into it, let’s be clear about one thing: Hanging out in the park between classes looking like you just walked out of the pages of an Urban Outfitters catalogue doesn’t count as protesting.
And, as far as I’m concerned, unless you’ve got Bono on board, don’t expect too many celebrity (besides Bruce Springsteen or Al Gore) endorsements.
I know you “reject the mainstream,” or whatever, and some people are saying that your movement is symbolic of an impending revolution.
I think it symbolizes something greater: Netflix is still in the game, baby! They might be down 35 percent per share after losing 800,000 subscribers (who’s counting?), but come on, admit it, none of you had any idea about this whole 99 percent vs. the 1 percent nonsense until you saw Jamie Johnson’s documentary when it became available to watch instantly, or until Michael Moore starting using Twitter.
Now, like any political movement, I know you have some skeptics. We’ve all read the articles; one headline asks “Are the Occupy Protestors Misguided?” and others follow similar paths.
I think you can avoid this by employing some cohesion amongst your masses; unify yourselves through a singular message. “What does this all mean?” you ask.
Your cause loses some credibility when the majority of the signs the movement’s demonstrators hold read with the same depth as the Facebook status history of Matt Damon — after all, he did get all political.
Why not elect a leader to represent your demands?
“Negotiations” require us to wade through the blogging majors and actual homeless people who were already sleeping in the park before you showed up. Maybe then we will find the Abbie Hoffman of your mob to pretend to negotiate with, or we’re just going to let the police hit you.
I guess my biggest question is, why now? We’ve been paying a lower tax percentage since former President George W. Bush was in office and siphoning the country’s wealth into our corner for years.
I don’t understand what’s so special about 2012. Do you think that you actually have a voice in the national discussion?
All this is just because for the first time in history, the youth turned out in droves and elected President Obama.
All this would imply that you’re still under the assumption they actually count people’s votes. But in the end, I guess we’re not that different after all.
We 1-percenters have 99 percent of the wealth, but you guys have, like, 99 percent of the fun.
We’re here, working, keeping this country moving while you camp out with your friends in the park.
This sounds like a system of checks and balances if I ever heard of one.
Reach the columnist at Bkarris@asu.edu
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