I love movies made in the ‘80s. In particular, I really love “St. Elmo’s Fire.”
I mean, “Sixteen Candles” is great and everything, but once I got to college, I got tired of the whole everyone-forgot-my-birthday mentality. Finding yourself and coming to terms with real life seem like much more appropriate movie themes.
That being said, I’m still not that close to “St. Elmo’s Fire.” I’m only a freshman, I go to a public school, and my boyfriend is still in high school. His name is Cedrick, he’s a senior in high school and I love him.
Things are complicated when your significant other is a grade younger than you, especially when you live in a different state for college while he checks off every senior-year moment without you. He or she is growing in ways you already have, yet is teaching you new ways to view the world – just as you are to him or her.
But growing together (and sort of separately) can be hard, which is why I’ve always chided Billy Hicks (you know, Rob Lowe’s character from "St. Elmo’s Fire"). He abuses the potential for a solid relationship with his wife, he plays the misunderstood-rebel-card a bit too much and he is unable to let go of his college life at Georgetown University. Billy just doesn’t want anything to change.
On that level, I cannot relate to Billy. I am ready to embrace change, which means, come spring, I would not be going to a big dance we call prom because I am not in high school anymore. That part of my life was supposed to be over.
Then the announcement came. Cedrick’s junior/senior prom would be on March 19 — not only the day I would be home for spring break, but also Cedrick’s birthday.
Needless to say, he was ecstatic (if I can interpret) when he figured out the serendipitous overlap. For me, spring break would no longer be the time to catch up on sleep and Rolling Stone.
Think back to your last prom and the amount of planning that went into it. Then start coordinating from 1,400 miles away.
The Ask: I’ve been to four proms, but this was by far my favorite ask. I got a box of Eileen’s Colossal Cookies sugar cookies with white frosting and purple letters (my favorite color), spelling “P-R-O-M-?” Delicious and cute!
The Dress: I love shopping. I do not love prom dress shopping. I detest the dresses with “sexy cutouts” (Is that much skin necessary?), too many sequins (there’s already a discoball) and Cinderella poufs (I’m not meant to be a princess yet). I don’t care about color, but because I don’t like most of the elements of a stereotypical prom dress, it makes the whole process more difficult. My friend drove me to Macy’s at Fashion Square. We had two hours before we had to be in Tempe and I was not leaving without a prom dress. Six dresses and 50 minutes later, I left with a forest green number.
The next legs of prom I let Cedrick navigate. Couples are supposed to coordinate vests/ties and dresses, right? So the next day, I FedEx-ed my dress to him. I still wish I could have been there to watch him carry my dress around as he inevitably got lost looking for the tuxedo shop.
The big night was an odd mix of happiness and awkwardness. I was greeted as both “Caitlin, I’ve missed you!” and “So you’re Cedrick’s girlfriend?” We avoided people we didn’t want to talk to, relished conversations with the few interesting people we both appreciated, and had a longer-than-necessary conversation with the principal who OK’d my attendance. That night was a night of celebration for Cedrick’s birthday, for the problems we have overcome in the last ten months, and for the friendship/relationship we’ve maintained.
I’ve always criticized Billy because he doesn’t want anything to change, but I kind of get it now. It’s so simple to drop back into a life where everyone knows you, where you know you are accepted. A world where it is no longer necessary to fight to establish an image of self, to find people who love you. It’s stagnation, but it’s easy.
I didn’t realize how simple prom could be, but also how easy it was to slip back into a high school realm where I was widely successful and well-liked, a world where some of my best friends still inhabit.
I mean, some things haven’t changed. After four proms, I still can’t put on a boutonniere. (Thanks, Mom!) I was still late to pictures. I still had to help a friend get ready. A new dress and shoes were just a part of the formal equation.
Any formal equation hereafter just won’t be in high school, and thank God that isn’t “St. Elmo’s Fire.”
Reach the reporter at caitlin.cruz@asu.edu
