Teen bullying and teen suicide have hit our collective psyche like a familiar ton of bricks these past several weeks, thanks to the media’s fascination with the topic and the tragic stories that continue to emerge. They are stories that, no matter how many we hear about, are just as raw and penetrating as the first time we woke up and heard about a bright young kid who ended his life on the news.
This particular wave of coverage is especially disturbing because of the volume of suicides that have taken place — in all parts of the country at middle schools, high schools and, yes, even colleges — and the specific targeting of homosexual teens who were bullied for being different.
Despite the tragedies, the outpour of support from politicians and celebrities has been encouraging. People like Ellen DeGeneres and Steve Nash are reaching out to teens with videos, words of encouragement, and moving testimonials.
Councilman Joel Burns of the Fort Worth City Council in Texas addressed his chamber last week with a very personal and moving story. After sharing details about the heart-wrenching suicides of 13-year-old Asher Brown, 15-year-old Billy Lucas, 15-year-old Justin Aaberg, and 13-year-old Seth Walsh — all of whom committed suicide within the last several weeks — Burns, choking back tears, used his time to address LGBT teens directly.
“Teen bullying and suicide has reached an epidemic in our country, especially among gay and lesbian youth, those perceived to be gay, or kids who are just different,” he said. Burns, who is openly gay, continued, “I know that life can seem unbearable… But I want you to know it gets better.”
Secretary of State Hillary Clinton took time to issue a video statement as well, telling LGBT teens to “hang in there.”
The universal theme in all of these messages is clear: wait until tomorrow — it will get better.
And, with patience and determination, tomorrow will be better. This became the message after Dan Savage launched the It Gets Better Project, an online video channel for adults to share their stories and make the promise to any LGBT teen that’s unaccepted or bullied that things do, eventually, get better.
This is a great message to be sending out to our youth, and I hope the support from prominent and everyday people continues because it’s true — things will and do get better over time and as you grow up.
We’ve seen great progress for women, minorities, and homosexuals over the past century, past decade and even past year, as Clinton points out in her message. And most of us can agree that we would never want to relive the painful and awkward years of adolescence.
It’s a sobering notion that we have to ask them to wait. It’s sobering to concede that being a teenager can be and often is a brutally terrible experience — gay or straight — and that, while we’ve made such progress as a nation and society, we still have a long way to go before a growing chorus of tolerance and acceptance will drown out the refrain of bigotry, misunderstanding and hate that we’ve all heard far too many times before.
Despite the uplifting messages urging perseverance and hope, it’s not always easy to see the big picture — especially for young people. It’s easy to get discouraged. We might be pleading with teens to listen to us when we say “it gets better,” but it’s not like adults don’t have the same problems.
We have our bullies and bouts of suffocating loneliness in the adult world, too.
Adults are still seeing and creating intolerance and bigotry in just about every walk of life and we spew hate at our neighbors as good as any teen bully. Just ask Glenn Beck, the Westboro Baptist Church or anyone running for public office this year.
The “Ground Zero Mosque” debacle revealed some harsh realities about how people still feel about Muslims in this country. Combine this with the furor that erupted over “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” and, even though a federal judge placed an injunction on the practice, we’re still witnessing a culture of fear and loathing from many sectors of society when it comes to people who might look, act and think differently.
Closer to home, we have Senate Bill 1070, a piece of legislation that, if not inherently racist itself, emblazoned deep and often hostile passions about race and immigration in Arizona.
Looking back just two years ago, California, a state traditionally recognized for socially progressive politics, voted in favor of Proposition 8, a surprising move that strictly defined marriage as between one man and one woman. The debate of its constitutionality is a legal fight that will likely take years to resolve.
And, of course, there’s the Tea Party, an irascible group founded on the premise of hotheaded indignation.
Whether it’s two steps forward, one step back or one step forward and two back, things aren’t getting too terribly better for anyone right now.
But Dan Savage, Joel Burns and Hillary Clinton are right. Things will get better tomorrow. But adults need to get better, too.
Tomorrow will be better. But it needs to come sooner rather than later.
Reach Dustin at dustin.volz@asu.edu
