Dear Adam Morrison:
I apologize for taunting you in front of your cousin at the Suns game after a failed alley-oop.
I had no idea who she was, especially in the upper deck.
I was ashamed, but you should be too.
I used to be such a huge fan.
What you’ve done in your life I can only achieve in daydreams during biology lecture.
As a 6’8” white man you took a Cinderella team to the Sweet 16 and you were the third overall pick in the NBA draft, all while having diabetes and terrible facial hair.
For a 5’9’’ white guy with marginal athletic ability and a far superior beard, you made me feel complete.
Michael Jordan chose you in his first season with the Charlotte Bobcats and you started for Larry Brown.
Now you’ve lowered yourself to stealing high fives at the free throw line.
Your crowning NBA achievement is meeting the President by playing only eight games for the world champion Lakers.
The least you could do is get a jump shot, or get your cousin better seats.
Sincerely,
Nathan Meacham
Reach the reporter at nathan.meacham@asu.edu
