If you were to say "Schoolhouse Rock" produced the finest videos to ever exist, you would be correct.
Come on, what beats that charming little scroll of paper strolling around Washington D.C. with his all-American boy companion teaching everyone how a bill becomes a law? Nothing, especially not when he's singing, "I'm just a bill. Yes, I'm only a bill. And I'm sitting here on Capitol Hill" — an undeniably beautiful rhyme.
Unfortunately, the amazing-ness that is "Schoolhouse Rock"'s bill song applies to all bills. That means that, yes, even Senate Bill 1108 has a chance to make it into law.
And on the scale of bad things, from one to 10, that registers about a 20.
Why do we feel so much disdain for the strike-everything amendment that is the brainchild of our favorite silly little hyper-American state representative from Mesa, Russell Pearce?
Well, let us just throw some of the verbiage of SB 1108 — as it stands right now — your way:
"The primary purpose of public education is the inculcation of the values of American citizenship."
"Allows for the inclusion of diverse political, religious, ideological, or cultural beliefs within the program of instruction provided that the course, class, or school sponsored activity as a whole does not denigrate or overtly encourage dissent from the values of American democracy and Western civilization."
And here's the money shot: "Prohibits public schools in Arizona, [including] universities under the jurisdiction of the Arizona Board of Regents … from allowing organizations to operate on the campus of a school, [or] university … if the organization is based in whole or in part on race-based criteria."
Do you get why we're not feeling so much love toward this bill yet?
It's inherently racist, reeking with xenophobia and, in an ironic twist, highly un-American.
If this law passes, it will banish organizations from campus simply on the premise that their racial affiliations will keep them from properly reflecting "the values of American citizenship." This will set a dangerous precedent — namely, that hypocrisy reigns in this state. After all, the very "values of American citizenship" the bill sets forth seem to us to include a little piece of legislation called the First Amendment — a thing that just so happens to provide these groups their freedom to assemble.
But, as if the bill weren't concerning enough, it has already cleared the Appropriations Committee to get an audience with the same state legislators who have previously passed some head-scratching bills. And while it is true Pearce is planning to soften the language, it appears that the intent and basic tenets of the amendment will remain in tact.
With that said, we must warn clubs such as the Taiwan Study Society, Black Graduate Student Association and Adelante to watch out — your un-American race-loving ways have been discovered and we suggest searching for a new meeting spot.
Preferably one far away from our flag-waving campus, which, certain lawmakers hope, will provide liberty and justice for all … or at least some.
