Unless you live down south, where football is everything, not too many people care about their college's spring game.
But if we can get some more hoopla like there was in Boulder, Colo., on Saturday, when Ralphie, the University of Colorado's 750-pound buffalo, trampled one of its handlers, more people would come to watch for sure.
I don't know if Ralphie's victim was hurt, so I can't laugh yet, but it got me to thinking how other teams would fare if they had mascots that actually resembled their nicknames.
The Arizona Diamondbacks: PA announcer: "Fans, Doug the Diamondback has slithered away and is missing somewhere in the stadium. If you or someone you are with gets bitten by Doug, remain calm but contact medical personnel immediately because he is, in fact, venomous."
Arizona Cardinals: That would just be boring.
Tampa Bay Lightning: Ouch
Toronto Raptors: This would be the best of all but probably too much carnage.
Miami Hurricanes: This one wouldn't end well either.
Chicago Bulls: Too similar to the Colorado incident.
Calgary Flames: That's hot.
New York Jets: Nobody wants to look at a pile of metal for 60 minutes.
New Orleans Hornets: Hope nobody in the arena is allergic.
Cleveland Browns: ?
Pittsburgh Penguins: Those birds would run amuck all over the place.
UMass Minutemen: Hope it's a quick game.
Reach the reporter at: Samuel.Good@asu.edu.
