If I had two daughters that were celebrities, I would feel accomplished as a mother. I would feel that I did something right and I would want to share this information with others.
If I had a daughter who had two kids, was married and divorced twice, shaved her head, lost custody because of drug accusations, and who was under suicide watch because she would rather die than go in mental treatment; and another daughter who was pregnant at 16 years of age by her 19-year-old boyfriend who'd been living with her … well, I'd probably reevaluate my parenting skills.
But then again, I'm not Lynne Spears. This mother of former pop-princess Britney and soon-to-be-teen-mother Jamie Lynn has decided to write a parenting book.
If that weren't ironic enough, a Christian publishing company, Thomas Nelson, Inc., is publishing the book. There are a lot of things that I might seek advice from Lynne Spears about, like how to reconcile with your daughter after she files a restraining order against you. But how to talk to your children about safe sex or how to instill Christian morality into them doesn't seem to be Lynne's strong points.
I can't really imagine what would go into her book. Maybe it would be a guide of "what not to do," in which case, I give her all my support. But with the seriousness that comes with Thomas Nelson, I doubt this is the case.
I'm scared for those kids whose parents are planning on buying this book. If Britney's parenting skills are any idea of what Lynn was like, I hope there are never anymore parents like her out there. And if the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, I'm nervous for (yet interested in) seeing how Jamie Lynn's child comes out.
The book has, however, been put on hold indefinitely due to the recent news of Jamie Lynn's pregnancy. A very wise move, I must say. But the fact that the book was not cancelled must be noted.
After all the scandal that has revolved around the Spears family, it is curious that Lynne would still like to teach the rest of America how to raise their children. I, for one, am interested in seeing how many copies it would sell.
In a world that has become so obsessed with the image of Britney Spears, it would not come as much of a shock to see this book reach the best-selling list. What a scary day it would be to have a bunch of "not that innocent" Britneys running around. At least K-Fed's parents have the decency to stay away from bookshelves.
But maybe I'm being too harsh on the Spears family. Maybe it really is the paparazzi that are driving Britney mad … or maybe Jamie Lynn really is in love and is planning on marrying the claimed father of her child, Casey Aldridge. Now, many people are speculating on whether the couple plans on marrying. Teen marriages just seem so modern, right? I mean, ignore the statutory rape and the increased likeliness for a divorce, it just sounds so romantic. Maybe I'm wrong.
Or maybe, just maybe, Lynne Spears' parenting skills aren't that amazing. Either way, I'm not risking my future spawn to test out her ideas.
Send parenting tips about how to raise famous babies to the columnist, Rachel Branch, at rachel.branch@asu.edu.
