Well, here we are. The first day of the last week of the semester. It's been a wild one. We laughed, we cried, we committed arson and through it all we remained, for better or worse, Sun Devils.
In the Unsigned (that's what this column is called, for those of you who don't know), The State Press has covered an array of issues this semester. We've attacked our Undergraduate Student Government president, our school's president and our nation's president. We've questioned fraternity actions and the possible destruction of frat row. We've questioned ASU's emergency alert system, and the lack of sprinklers in the wake of the MU fires. And, of course, we've celebrated the success of our football team. There was also a lot of filler, but so it goes when you write a column every day.
Many of us on staff are leaving at the end of this semester, which means you all will have a new voice writing the Unsigned when you get back from winter break. That means this is goodbye. It will be a shame to no longer poke around and ask questions for the students, but we leave you in capable hands, probably more capable than our own.
Anyway, as a summary of the wacky semester, (and under the assumption that most of you drank and/or studied so much that you don't remember half the events that actually happened), here's a cheat sheet for when mom asks over Christmas dinner about what happened this semester and you don't want to bring up all those orgies.
Big story of August: You got back to campus, and then immediately had to prove your citizenship, love for America, and willingness to get drafted in order to receive financial aid. Can't have those illegals getting an education!
Big story of September: Pesky sexual assault charges kept popping up all over Alpha Drive. It's possible that these indirectly contributed to plans that popped up later this semester to demolish Alpha Drive and replace it with dorm-style living for the fraternities.
Big story of October: The football team just kept winning, and winning and winning. People outside the stadium before each game kept drinking, and drinking and drinking, leading to a rash of arrests and accusations of police brutality that never panned out.
Big story of November: November started out hot, with the MU catching fire just as we were recovering from our Halloween hangovers. We've been eating on a basketball court for the past month thanks to the destructive blaze, which is still being investigated.
Big story of December: USG attempts to freeze tuition, but also attempts to support an additional $150 fee. Students are confused.
That's all folks. Goodnight.
