Often times for dinner, I will plop down on the couch for a few minutes in front of the idiot box. I'll cycle through the channels -- making stops at the History and Discovery channels, Comedy Central and sometimes MTV -- until I find something to stare at while my fork attempts to find my mouth. I usually end up watching the most trusted man in the United States: Stephen Colbert. I mean, let's face it, he is right about everything, and everyone else is simply wrong.
Anyhow, as I repeatedly stabbed myself in the face with a fork due to my inability to take my eyes from the screen, I began to appreciate an American right that I had formerly taken for granted. And I'm not talking about the American right -- no, duty -- of deteriorating in front of a TV, I am talking about the freedom of speech. Sure, we've all heard this one before, but last week's incident in Venezuela with President Hugo Chavez gave me a whole new appreciation for my "beloved" country.
For those of you out of the news loop, Chavez decided to shut down the oldest television station in Venezuela, which so happened to be his biggest critic. Protests escalated to riots and a local newspaper that is critical of the president questioned his integrity and ability to retain the country's pluralism.
Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of networks I would gladly take off the air myself, like the hypnotizing MTV, which is rife with garbage, but President Chavez's decision definitely doesn't go along with the whole free speech thing. If Bush censored everything bad said about him, I'm sure Colbert would also be out of a job, and I just don't think I could cope with that. Not to mention it would likely plunge our country further into debt since it would cost more than any war to censor everything negative said about him.
However, I would love to see those trashy shows on MTV and VH1 go. You know, the ones where every other word is bleeped out, and the American dream is exemplified by our lust for sex, fame and money. Please Dubya, take these shows off the air, partly because I can't tear myself away from these programs, but mainly because my 12-year-old sister watches the garbage on a daily basis.
But really, who am I to say she can't watch it? The fact that I don't want her watching it makes me almost as bad as Chavez. Bush forbid if I actually blocked the channel. She might start calling me Hugo, and I would be a huge hypocrite.
Instead, I will take solace in the fact she is smarter than the nonsense she sees on television, and be thankful that people like Colbert share their pearls of wisdom with the populace. And let me tell you, nothing is better than gleaning Colbert's insight while indulging in the Americone Dream ice cream for dessert.
Kyle Snow has been trapped by the absurdity of MTV's programs. Rescue him by sending e-mails to kyle.snow@asu.edu.
