The State Press recently reported that ASU President Michael Crow makes $600,000 a year. Here's what the SPM staff would do with that kind of cash:
1. Take a trip to Sweden just for the fish.
Or maybe a trip to Wal-Mart to buy 600,000 packets of Swedish Fish. Man, those things are good.
2. Repair the bathroom stall locks on campus.
Since these minor repairs don't seem to fit into Crow's concept of the "New American University," we'll do it instead.
3. Give each ASU student 10 dollars.
Or just give each SPM staffer $50,000.
4. Pay Sparky to hand-deliver SPM to each student. <>/b>
On second thought, he has a lot of excess energy. Maybe he'll do it for free.
5. Have all the mold and dust removed from Hayden Library.
That way, it would be easier and more sanitary for us to have sex there.
Reach the reporter at: christina.caldwell@asu.edu.
