KIDS CINEMA 101: How to test if a kids movie is bad or good?
ANSWER: The kids movie is bad if there is any lull whatsoever and will cause children to A) Whine and complain to go potty, B) Dance and maneuver their bodies all around the theatre, and C) Not laugh or show any interest while the adult is laughing at all of the fast witted dialogue.
The kids movie is good if there is silence for the entire picture and the children aren't screaming and running until the bitter end because they were scrunching down on their bladders after drinking too many children sized soda pops.
Barnyard is a good kid's movie. It moves so fast that the kids are at least 20 frames behind the movie. Ten minutes after the wolves snatch the chickens, the cows are driving Choppers, but the kids are yelling out loud, "Where did the chickens go!?" Ten minutes after the cows are driving Choppers, the kids are yelling, "Ha-ha, cows drive funny ... ha-ha."
That is Barnyard in a nutshell. It's a funny movie where animals act more human that any other animal animated movie. Barnyard is The Lion King with all of Old McDonald's animals instead of Africa's. Whereas in The Lion King Mufasa and Simba lead Pride Rock, on the Barnyard, the cows Ben and Otis rule. Instead of Elton John and The Tokens, Barnyard has Aerosmith, Polka's, Celtic, and music that's reminiscent of Johnny Cash. Rather than graceful encores where the animals walk to and fro, Barnyard is an animal house ... literally. Despite having all of the similarities as the Lion King, its differences make it unique and outstanding.
Why am I raving about a kid's movie that seems to be a mockery of The Lion King, the king of Disney flicks during the early 90s? It's because I'm a kid at heart and if the stories in children's movies now are moving at light speeds so that kids don't have time to put out a fire in the bathroom after the first hour or have time to refill their refreshments, than I won't either. I'll hold it in like a man! Moo.
I give Barnyard ****1/2 out of 5 Roses.
Reach the reporter at monis.rose@asu.edu.
