Tuesday marked a sad day in my life. And for once, it had nothing to do with missing "Gilmore Girls."
As "Extra" has probably told you over and over, the Academy Award nominations were announced earlier this week, signifying the 78th annual Oscar ceremony. However, that's not the only anniversary significant to me.
It's also the 18th year in a row that the Academy has overlooked one of its finest. He's an actor who embodies dramatic greatness. A performer who embraces the challenges of the stage. A man who always wears a really big overcoat.
I am, of course, talking about Steven Seagal. And I'm willing to bet that right now you're thinking to yourself: It's about time someone said something!
Exploding onto the scene in 1988's "Above the Law", The Seag went on to star in and produce such epic masterpieces as "Hard to Kill," "Marked for Death," "Half Past Dead" and "Out for a Kill."
While his complete filmography is pretty much common knowledge, I'll condescend to help out those too concerned with drinking Miller High Life to appreciate his multi-faceted greatness.
In 2005 alone, Seagal made cinematic gold no less than four times, with all serving as examples of how fine films can be snubbed like a silicon-free woman at a Tempe 12 pool party. I submit for your approval "Black Dawn," where ex-CIA agent Jonathan Cold knows "it's always darkest before dawn."
Next up is "Into the Sun," where ex-CIA agent Travis Hunter proves that "only one man can stop the Yakuza."
In "Submerged," Seagal steps it up by playing Chris Cody, "the free world's most independent anti-terrorist agent" who "found the enemy...on the wrong side."
Finally, in "Today You Die," his character Harlan Banks is hired to drive a delivery truck in Las Vegas that picks up $20 million in cash. But, as the DVD cover clearly states, "What Seagal does in Vegas, nearly destroys it."
Still not convinced? Imagine if you will: Seagal comes up to you and clearly states in his soft yet compelling tone, "Give me your car keys." When you ask why, he, without flinching, answers, "I don't have a car of my own so I have to run you over with yours."
You too would be a fan for life.
Obviously, something has to be done to stop the continuation of these gross oversights in the Best Actor and Best Picture categories.
As Cornelius Bushnell, English literature senior, passionately exclaimed, "Seagal got robbed!"
The phrase will remain our battle cry.
I approached BIS senior Maria Baeza who added, "Matt Damon? He's not bad looking."
While her comment really had nothing to do with the issue at hand, I could see in her eyes that the sheer magnitude of Seagal's presence on screen was enough to overpower her ability to express it in any coherent context.
Okay, so maybe featuring at least one gun on every movie cover is a little gratuitous. But any guy who makes a career out of having a ponytail deserves at least a little credit.
Heather Hull is a communication senior who admired Seagal's cameo performance as an ex-CIA agent in "Brokeback Mountain". Catch her at heather.hull@asu.edu.
