In case you haven't figured this out, Stale Mess is just a bunch of made up stories. It's as fake as your "Kate Spade" purse that's "hecho en Mexico." As fake as the breasts on the Playboy playmates, our USG president wants to ban. It's possibly even faker. It's content is not to be taken seriously. Stale Mess is fake, fake, fake. Any resemblance to actual people (unless, of course, those actual people are public figures, in which case their quotes are still fake) is purely accidental. Enjoy. And remember: it's fake.
Oblio's head. Air quotes. Milton Glick's hat. These things are pointless. Pencil toppers. Clay Aiken. Non-alcoholic beer. These things are also pointless. The fake family photos that come when you buy a frame.
Designer carrying cases for your pets. Any Tootsie Pop flavor that is not orange. Not only are these things pointless, they are depressing.
Sometimes, we as human beings reach a place in our lives where we need to embrace pointlessness as a means of survival.
DANCE PARTY!
Thinking too much can make our brains dry up and blow away through the ears.
What do erratically pumping fists look like?
I like to think that I could stop thinking. But then I realize that I have defeated my purpose. Oh wait. That was more thinking.
Andy Dick.
The best cure I've found for eliminating thinking from my thought process is watching "What's the Worst that Could Happen?" starring Martin Lawrence and Danny Devito.
I like cookies.
Have you ever tried to stop thinking? If you like 50 Cents' "Bulletproof", then your answer is yes.
However, playing "Colosseum: Road to Freedom" means that you are a deep thinker, and one that everyone should admire. But deep thinkers don't survive, so revel in your four second accolades.
Can I get some witnesses up in here?
You know, one of the greatest things about being pointless is the ability to never have to end sentences in a way that....
Canada.
Oh, that's right. Canada was the first place where people decided to wear their pants too long, call it stylish and then force me to deal with it, because my legs are too short.
Short legs are also pointless. Specifically because they are short. And people with short legs can't do things that normal people can do.
Perhaps it's time we put a ban on thinking. Wait, let me rethink that. Let's put a ban on thinking about a point.
Only pointless thinking from now on, provided that there are ample cookies.
Do you think that they could make bacon flavored TV shows? We could air them on the Lick-o-Vision network.
Badminton is the greatest sport ever invented. And people that play Sousaphone are hot. I think Howard Dean should go by the name Ho Do. Definitely Ho Do.
And the winner is....
Macy Hanson.
I am a Fossil Hominids senior with a penchant for the goods. Reach me by holding a stereo above your head in the rain outside my window and yelling "Stella".
