One movie that hit theaters last weekend very artfully portrays the relationship between a 23-year-old man and a 37-year-old woman.
In what must be a welcome change, the supposed May-to-December relationship is treated with more normality and class than ever before.
Any relationship where the woman is older typically draws varying responses: The guy is expected to be elated on landing an experienced catch; the woman can be called a cradle-robber or is supposed to feel flattered by the younger man's excited manifestations of affection, among other things.
Another endless list is of couples that deviate from the antiquated norm in which the man is somewhat older than or the same age as the woman. For instance, at age 33, Cameron Diaz had a "choice malfunction" when she chose Justin Timberlake, 9 years her junior. Sheryl Crow, 43, is in the fast lane with Lance Armstrong, 34, and Madonna, the darling of the evangelical community, couples with Guy Ritchie, 10 years her junior.
There is something breathtakingly attractive about women who have seen a few more summers. While conversing with an attractive older woman, it is incredible to perceive the power the woman feels over the infatuated, lesser mortal. Gorgeous eyes (other parts of the anatomy notwithstanding) giving attention that a woman could have given to an older and more accomplished man does inflate the (younger) male ego.
Surely, the above feelings are not isolated to me. Instead, it would probably explain why such relationships take on a higher profile than when the shoe is on the other foot.
As society evolves, the hope is that relationships consisting of older females with younger males become part of what we like to call "normal."
At some level, it is possible that all the gushing over such relationships is the result of defied expectations. Even a society as progressive as the United States sometimes sees things in stereotypes. We tend to imagine a natural order of how things ought to be. When things deviate from that order, they draw discernible reactions from society in general.
So an older woman dating a younger guy is, for the most part, seen with a mix of intrigue and curiosity. Hopefully, increased acceptance of relationships in which the woman is older could symbolize impending positive changes in other aspects of social order.
A female president may not remain a work of fiction for too long. On ABC's "Commander in Chief," Geena Davis as the president generates curiosity in terms of a possible Sen. Hillary Clinton run for presidency in 2008. But unforgivably, conventional wisdom still seems to limit a woman's role in the White House to admiring her husband's commanding presence.
Society will have truly made strides when a potential female president does not generate hysteria just because of her gender. Women deserve, as much as men do, to find out what it feels like to spend $200 million, be made fun by the media and demand a recount.
Even so, a woman is more likely to be at home in the White House than in an engineering class. The tremendous discrepancy in the male-to-female ratio in science is one of the most egregious, yet least discussed, examples of types and stereotypes.
From a young age, women are expected to be ladylike. Taking apart gadgets and designing video games doesn't seem to fit that profile. Surely exceptions exist, but in this case, we need to change the rules themselves. Having personally worked on engineering projects with incredibly gifted female engineers and scientists, it is unforgivable to let the imbalance prevail for too long.
Just as a female commander in chief should become conventional, so should a woman fixing a car. It may become normal for women to leave beer cans on the carpet after their contents have been imbibed. And the kitchen could retain the fragrances of what was cooked (or overcooked) there a few days ago.
Equality, thou art wonderful.
Nishant Bhajaria is a computer science graduate student. Reach him at nishant.bhajaria@asu.edu.
