The holiday season seems to come earlier every year.
Halloween isn't even over yet, but twinkling Christmas trees already line shop windows, PBS is airing late-night Christmas carol performances and Connecticut, brimming with Christmas cheer, is picking a fight with the distributors of holiday-themed beer.
The beer, called Seriously Bad Elf, defies state regulations that bar alcohol advertisements with images that appeal to children. The state believes that the brand's use of traditional Christmas imagery will entice kids to drink.
"There are certain symbols and images that appeal more strongly to children and this regulation includes the most obvious among them," Attorney General Richard Blumenthal has said, according to the Associated Press.
In fact, the regulations even specifically mention the use of Santa Claus.
Nevertheless, I'm not sure whether I'm more surprised by the fact that Connecticut law actually officially, if not directly, upholds Santa as a moral model for young children, or that such a seemingly frivolous regulation is the cause of an actual battle.
Perhaps it would be more understandable if the advertisement in question pictured jolly old St. Nick sitting by the fire, smoking crack or, even more questionable, peddling crack to children.
But in this case, the product label features a very homely, fiendish looking elf shooting a slingshot at Santa's sleigh. Though the image could reasonably appeal to children, the appeal wouldn't necessarily arise from the familiar Christmas imagery.
More likely, children would be attracted to the slingshot and/or the delightful prospect of injuring Santa. And, in that case, those sweet, sadistic little lambs would probably be itching for a weapon more than a beer.
And let's not forget that no matter how realistic fake IDs become, small children can't buy beer. In fact, they have no way of obtaining it all, except through their parents. And frankly, if parents allow their children access to alcoholic beverages, then Santa is not the determining factor.
In fact, equating Santa on a beer bottle with childhood alcoholism seems much like pinning childhood obesity on Ronald McDonald. Kids don't go to McDonald's for the clown. They go because their parents take them (and for those irresistible fries).
If state officials don't want kids to drink, they might be better off doing something about alcoholic parents.
This is not to, however, suggest that all adult products should be marketed without regard for the impression that their advertisements have on children. But, as Dan Shelton, the beer's distributor told the Associated Press, "Minors are not going to be looking to buy beer because Santa Claus is on the label."
And, honestly, which is more appealing to a 10-year-old boy: a disgruntled, misshapen elf or "football on TV, shots of Gina Lee and twins?" Yet no one's going after Coors Light, or those pompom-shaking twins.
Perhaps what really puzzles me is the very fact that Connecticut is fighting battles over the appropriate use of Santa's picture while so many more relevant issues sit on the backburner as a result.
Yes, drinking is a big no-no for kids. But it's also a big no-no for underage teenagers who are far more likely to do it. Perhaps Connecticut should focus on alcohol advertising that appeals to teens, and direct every fiber of its being to eradicating that.
Or maybe they could just go all out and address unemployment, social security and this pesky war.
Catherine Traywick is a journalism and English literature junior. Reach her at catherine.traywick@asu.edu.
