AS I WRITE this newly conceived column at the very last moment, it dawns on me that it is 2:14 a.m. Such is the life of a nocturnal creature such as myself.
Thoughts swirl in my head as I read through the day's headlines on the Web Devil and our, um, peer publication, CNN.com, and I can't relax:
We don't know for sure, but Measles could be lurking in shady corners and waiting to paint us in red spots. Tuition could be going up. Johnny Carson died Sunday from emphysema after a lifetime of brilliant comedy and cigarette smoking. The people behind "Penthouse" are under investigation for financial tinkering.
I could really go for a donut right now to comfort me and needlessly expand my waistline. A nice, warm and glazed Krispy Kreme donut--an icon of Americana shining brighter than a blinking neon sign in the window of one of its stores. But alas, nothing is sacred, not even the sweet sauce dripping like a waterfall over an endless stream of slow-moving pastries.
No, Stephen Cooper, the turnaround specialist who formerly was hired to turn around Enron, has taken over my favorite donut company. I can no longer bite into a donut without wondering if the company has cooked more books than donuts, kneaded the dough a little bit too much, wanted to taste a little too much sweet success... and so on.
The Associated Press led the pack of media outlets telling the same story, sprinkled with donut-related puns more numerous than the flavors offered by Krispy Kreme.
As the legend goes, Krispy Kreme's leftover donuts were being repackaged and distributed for reselling to inflate sales and hide the company's profit plateau. No one can say for sure, but you don't follow in Enron's footsteps over a few boxes of stale donuts.
Former CEO Scott Livengood was ousted and allowed to retire rather than being fired. Critics said the company management wanted the public to get the impression that Livengood chose his fate. More likely, they said, Livengood was being pushed out of his post.
At the same time, even in his retirement, Livengood was scheduled to receive compensation that most non-retired-or-fired individuals could hardly conceive of. Even the apparently sizeable salaries of top government and University officials can't even begin to come close. Those benefits currently remain on hold while regulators look to see if they comply with established rules.
The customer is left wondering about their donut source with an empty spot in their belly. I can only think back and recall what I know for sure: The donuts used to reside in the familiar white box stores filled with laboring high-school kids wearing funny hats. Then, one day, they were available at the grocery store or in the gas station. Again, I can't say for sure, I can only observe. Livengood's retirement could be a true retirement, for all I know.
Krispy Kreme donuts now sit in the Memorial Union for the taking where generic, no-name sweets once lay. They're cold, but they're there. It's convenient, but the novelty of a Krispy Kreme donut is on the endangered list along with spotted owls and various species of wolf.
But the funny thing is, one really can't fault Krispy Kreme for trying to join in the same game that everyone else was playing. Starbuck's is everywhere. McDonald's and Burger King are across the street from one another in Anytown, U.S.A. Microsoft's capital exceeds that of several large countries due to its ubiquitous operating systems. Krispy Kreme was just playing the same old game, albeit in a less skillful manner than other companies. Or, maybe they got caught, while their peers didn't.
The business owners of the future are dreaming today about what they will create tomorrow, and they'll use the giant chains as a blueprint. Perhaps the recent focus on corporate scandals and financial bloopers will lead to a new way of doing business.
One has to wonder whether the risks of market saturation are really worth taking. I can only hope that the day will come when a bite into my favorite comfort food is comforting once again.
This is Nicole Saidi, logging off.
Reach the editor at nicole.saidi@asu.edu.
