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Editorial: Redirecting campus political drive


Even with the inauguration, campus political fervor has inevitably lost some of its gusto since last semester. It's hard to top holding the final presidential debate on campus and living in a swing-ish state.

We're mostly just suffering from a drought of letters to the editor detailing the darker, and often lighter, side of each candidate's political agenda. Frankly, we're more worried about the campus political clubs and what they are going to do to keep themselves busy.

Sure, if Schwarzenegger is going up for the reds in '08, they'd better start campaigning now, but in the mean time, we thought it best to offer suggestions more beneficial to ASU as to what the political clubs can do with their time.

The walkways are exceptionally bare. Get together and use all of the leftover chalk from the election and come up with something nice to draw -- maybe a mural. Make it seasonal or just plain fun.

We're all suffering from sticker withdrawals: How about smiley face stickers instead of W '04 or Kerry/Edwards? Maybe the green "yuk" face ones that you put on household products that are harmful to ingest. Or bring back the scratch-and-sniff stickers to distract from the perpetual stench of diesel amid campus construction projects.

How about dispersing copies of the Constitution like the Gideons hand out those little Bibles? You'd have to wear the same ill-fitting suits and be prepared to display some quick-witted rhetoric as to why it's important, but you're future politicians -- innovate.

Take a page out of "Revenge of the Nerds" and hold a decathlon. Forget who really won the election; let your ability to tricycle drunk and show off your tug-of-war skills decide who is the fairer party.

You've missed the Christmas shopping crowd, but maybe come up with a calendar to generate extra dough for signs, bribes, etc. Maybe "The GOP swimsuit calendar" or "The Green Party vegan recipe calendar." How about a word-of-the-day calendar with "Bushisms?"

Offer courtesy rides to students and cut the wait time for Safety Escort Service. Republican clubs can use their golf carts; Democrats could give students a lift on the handlebars of their bikes. It might offer you a good chance to slap one of those scratch-and-sniffs on them or invite them to the decathlon.

Stage an open debate about the more obscure campus issues, such as "Did the brainchild behind the University Services Building envision people enacting Frogger when trying to get to work?" Hone those rhetorical skills for '08.

Use leftover political signs to fan people making the trek from Lot 59.

Put all of those petitioning skills to work and get support from the state Legislature for something that might actually help the student body.

Hold a march on campus, but don't tell anyone where you're going; just lead them all to Four Peaks. Get some real problem solving done.

Well, hope this helps our clubs get over post-election atrophy. What else are you going to do: Start yelling at each other again?


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