Summer is almost here. I have put together an A-to-Z guide to summer survival for those of you who are braving the Arizona heat for the first time. Feel free to cut this out and take with you in times of emergency.
Always bring a bottled water with you wherever you go. Dehydration feels like a severe stomachache and can last for hours.
Barbecues in the backyard can't be beaten on Sunday afternoons. Get a few friends together, take the radio outside and enjoy a relaxing afternoon of socializing and swimming.
Compact discs, along with everything else, are completely destroyed in 10 minutes or less when left in a parked car.
Don't be fooled when you enter a shop after walking down Mill Avenue and instantly fall in love with the angel behind the counter. As everyone knows, heat is a powerful aphrodisiac.
Escape from the heat by traveling just a few hours up north to Flagstaff, Payson or Prescott.
Frozen food makes a delicious treat to beat the summer heat. Some ideas to try: frozen bananas, frozen grapes and frozen lemonade ice cubes. Brrrrr!!
Glad dogs make good dogs. DO NOT make your dog stay outside during the summer. They may have water, but it is often too hot to drink and evaporates quickly. The extra money you spend on a carpet deodorizer beats pesky veterinary bills that result from an overheated pooch.
Ham may not fry on the concrete outside, but eggs sure do. Keep the eye on the news this summer, as every year they attempt to fry an egg on the street. Hey! That's exciting! Try it at home!
If you don't have a dash mat, spread an old, thin towel across the dashboard of your car during the summer. This prevents unsightly cracks.
Just open up the freezer, stick your head inside and breathe in the frozen air while sucking on an ice cube. This is a great way to cool down after spending time outside.
Know and take solace in the fact that it is a dry heat.
Like cooler weather better? Think about this: when you are cold, your whole body tightens up. You're shivery and shaky, and you have purple lips. In the summer, you're relaxed, your limbs hang loosely at your sides and you move slow, mellow ... cool, baby.
Magazines and books about cold weather can often provide relief.
Never exercise anytime outdoors after 9:30 a.m. at the latest. It's as painful to watch as it is dangerous, so please, don't make us call an ambulance.
On windy days, don't expect a cool breeze -- it's more like a blast of hot air from a hair dryer. Save electricity by drying your hair outside. It is about the same temperature, and by waving your hair around you can achieve similar velocity.
Protect your noggin more thoroughly with a sombrero, not a baseball cap, if you are going to be outside for longer than a few minutes during the day.
Quench your thirst often.
Resist the urge to go barefoot, even if just going outside to get the mail. Just a few seconds can cause severe pain, immediately followed by an unpleasant burst of otherworldly pain once you finally get inside.
Splurge on a quality bathing suit that fits, rather than a few that fall apart and don't cover crucial areas. Men should opt for trunks that have an inner layer, and women should avoid suits that are made completely of cotton -- those tend to ride up, exposing the bum.
Try colorful sunscreens.
Umbrellas can protect you from scorching sunrays as well as the rain!
Venture down to Rocky Point, Rosarita, San Felipe or Tijuana if you have an especially high alcohol tolerance. No planning is necessary.
When all else fails and you can't get to sleep at night, fill up a glass of cold water and pour it all over your mattress. Ahhhhh!
Xcellency is tubing down the Salt River with friends.
Yellowish orange hair is what you get when you tangle with Sun-In. Don't do it.
Zelda is what you get when you mix 115 degrees with an old-school Nintendo. With the video game volume all the way down, and Nirvana's "Nevermind" on full blast, it makes for an enjoyable July afternoon.
Nicole Girard is a journalism graduate student. Reach her at nicole.girard@asu.edu.
