Alright all you SCA/RenFair weirdoes, this Web site is for you. In-between polishing your plus-one maces and filling your canteens with KeyStone, point your browser to http://bdmonkeys.net/~chaz/battle.php. It will give you a much-needed battle cry.
The Web site is pretty simple and straightforward. Type in your name and choose your sex, and it does the rest of the work. It provides you with a situation or build up then jumps straight into your battle cry. My battle cry is: "Hark! Who is that, sprinting along the cliffs! It is Ryan, hands clutching buzzsaw hand extensions! And with an ominous roar, his voice cometh: "I'm going to fuck you with such reckless abandon, the Earth will spin twice as fast!!"
Let's see some other peoples' battle cries:
ASU President Michael Crow: Prowling over the hotel lobby, carrying a vorpal blade, cometh Michael Crow! And he gives a booming grunt: "As sure as predators devour prey, I slice through beating hearts until everything has croaked!!"
State Press Managing Editor Noah Austin: Who is that, striding amidst the terrain! It is Noah Austin, hands clutching a sharpened screwdriver! He grunts thunderously: "I'm going to pound you into the danger zone!!"
SPM Editor Lynh Bui: Stalking through the hotel lobby, wielding a thorned whip, cometh Lynh Bui! And she gives a spectacular howl: "Ares, God of War, be praised! I look forward to hearing the lamentations of thy women!!!"
State Press City Editor Amanda Lee Myers: Prowling along the candy store, cutting down all who dare stand in the way using buzzsaw hand extensions, cometh Amanda Lee Myers! And she gives a spectacular cry: "Hail the blood-letting! I bring darkness and mayhem like a mad dog who can only get madder!!!"
Be it geeky or pretty cool, the "What is your battle cry?" generator provides at least 15 minutes of pleasure and joy.
Reach the reporter at ryan.eidlers@asu.edu.
