Boobies.
There. We said it.
If Janet Jackson can flash half a set during the Super Bowl, then surely we can briefly mention ... those things ... in our rant for the day.
But as childish as you think we are being, there is a good reason for us to mention ... those things. Whether you went out to bask in Mardi Gras madness or passed on the opportunity to be a heathen, chances are you might have seen some of ... them ... unless you happened to be celebrating Fat Tuesday on Mill Avenue. Tossing beads, drunken stupors and random madness is what indulging in Mardi Gras is all about. It gives college students another excuse to take a romp in Party Wonderland. But downtown Tempe officials (The Man, if you will) don't think we should be let through Wonderland's gates.
Tight security and a Puritan attitude dominated the Mill Avenue scene on Tuesday night. "Indecent exposure" was not to be tolerated, no matter how many 25-cent beads girls were dying to collect (or guys were willing to trade for a show).
We understand the city's desire to make sure things don't get out of hand, but Mill is one of the last party Meccas students can turn to. With the party ordinance's death grip on our homes, we'd like to be able to take our youthful indiscretions somewhere (and we can't wait until our parents go out of town).
We are all about morals, safety and everything that is sunshiny and happy, but please. Tempe is a college town. Why can't anyone embrace that fact? College students are what make Mill Avenue one of Tempe's biggest draws. If the party's over, so is Mill.
The composition of Mill is probably more than 50 percent bar. It is no place for families and children, so why wedge a square block into a round hole? If you think we should turn downtown, which has a bar named Hooters and an adult store that is beyond 'fascinating' into a Chuck E. Cheese, then we need to have a talk.
Fish swim. Birds fly. College students party. It is like a law of nature, and you can't deny nature. When was the last time you saw a Discovery Channel documentary where the cameraman flung a salmon up in the air to get it airborne? Never, because salmon aren't supposed to fly.
The same is true with students. When was the last time you saw a Mardi Gras party without a bunch of bead-sporting dudes chanting "show your ..." you know.
Puritan Tempe is clearly not as sage as a Discovery Channel cameraman. You can take our party houses, but, please, give us Fat Tuesday. Don't throw us in the air like salmon. Let us make Mill Avenue the Bourbon Street of the Southwest, at least one night a year.
