If I were to run for mayor of Tempe, my speech would go a little something like this:
"Hello. My name is Joy Hepp. You might know me from my hilarious 'Don't I know you?' columns. If you don't, it's your loss. Anyway, if you elect me, I will have free pizza parties on Hayden Lawn every Friday, and you can have all of the loud parties you want as long as you let your neighbors do keg stands whenever they want. Furthermore, I'll be your best friend."
I don't know how far I could make it with that stump speech, and that is why I decided not to run for mayor. Brad McCauley, however, is planning on running for the position. The 21-year-old has plenty of qualifications: He's a political science major, he's president of the German club, he's a Tempe homeowner, he's old enough to drink, and he is a direct descendant of two American presidents: Benjamin Harrison and William Henry Harrison.
He feels such family pride that he has decided to become a member of the Whig party, the same party his ancestors popularized in the United States in order to defeat President Andrew Jackson. He may be off to a slow start (so far he only has 90 of the 1,000 signatures he needs to get his name on the ballet), but who knows? He "may-or" may not be this city's next mayor.
SPM: Don't I know you?
McCauley: I'm running for mayor of Tempe.
SPM: What made you want to do that?
McCauley: I wanted to get involved, so I went down to city hall. The clerk said there was an election going on, and I decided to do it.
SPM: Do you honestly think you can win?
McCauley: No, I really don't, but who knows? If not this time, there's always next time or the time after that.
SPM: Why did you decide to join the Whig party?
McCauley: In the 2000 elections, both parties seemed very similar. I decided to take the more liberal Whig stance.
SPM: What's the Whig party's stance on the party ordinance?
McCauley: I think it was a rash decision to go to 90 days. I think they should have started at a week.
SPM: What do you like to do for fun?
McCauley: I like in-line speed skating, I work in the computer store on campus, and I spend a lot of time with my friends.
SPM: Are you offering anything specific to your voters like free pizza every Friday?
McCauley: Not really. I'm trying to use it to promote the Whig party and to meet new people.
SPM: Do you guys actually wear wigs?
McCauley: No. The party was actually formed in England, and when the settlers came to America, some people who still wanted to support England held on to it. Then they went back to England. Then, President Andrew Jackson started to be called King Jackson. The Harrisons started up the party again as a mockery.
SPM: So if you win, you will be making your great great great great great great great grandfather very proud.
McCauley: I certainly hope so. As a kid I never knew what 'Tippacanoe and Tyler, too,' meant.
SPM: What does it mean?
McCauley: I still don't know.
SPM: Oh, so are you going to try to bring wigs to the Whig party?
McCauley: No definitely not. Wear 'em if you got 'em. That should be my slogan.
SPM: What slogans do you have right now?
McCauley: I'm going to go over to Kinko's later and have some prototypes made up. The first one says, " You know you want me, baby..." on the front, and on the back it says "for mayor." I'm also working on a play on words with the word "mayor" something like "I may-or may not be mayor." I'm still working on that one though.
SPM: Don't forget about wear 'em if you got 'em.
SPM: So have you heard stories about your famous relatives your whole life?
McCauley: Yeah. My great-aunt Lola has an old cedar chest with all of the historical documents. I haven't ever gotten to look at it though.
SPM: Maybe if you win they'll let you look at it. Or maybe they'll put some of your papers in it.
McCauley: She lives in California so it's not exactly accessible.
SPM: So what are your plans if you do get the position?
McCauley: I'm a pretty nice guy. If I were the mayor I think I could help people out. Also if you want more information you can go to my Web site at www.daddyslick.org.
Reach the reporter at joy.hepp@asu.edu.
