After the adventures I had trying to find a subject for my column last week, it was a relief to run into Sam Holdren, the LGBTQ (Lesbian, Gay, Bi-sexual, Transsexual, Queer) Coalition facilitator at National Coming Out Day on Hayden Lawn Thursday. I was there for the pizza, he was there to celebrate being queer.
Speaking of queer, during our conversation Holdren informed me that the word has many connotations. I found out that "queer" can still have a derogatory meaning if used in a negative manner. For instance, if someone said, "I don't want to sit next to a queer on the airplane," that would be derogatory. However, like the word "chicano," which has been embraced by the Mexican-American community as a term of empowerment after historically being used by outsiders as an insult, the word "queer" has some positive connotations for the LGBTQ community. You know, like, "We're here, we're queer, get used to it!"
SPM: Don't I know you?
Holdren: I'm the guy who keeps flirting with your boyfriend.
SPM: Uh oh, should I be worried?
Holdren: He's no Justin Timberlake.
SPM: Phew. So let's talk about stereotypes. What are some of the big misconceptions?
Holdren: People think every gay guy enjoys anal sex - that's not true.
SPM: Hmm. What about quiche? I've heard that it was the queer cultural food.
Holdren: Really?
SPM: Yeah, and you guys (LGBTQ) did serve it at one of your gatherings.
Holdren: That was so by accident. In fact, I had a lot of people come up to me and say they were trying quiche for the first time, but it was really good.
SPM: What do you think about "Queer Eye For The Straight Guy?"
Holdren: You know, I've heard people complain how it's a stereotype, superficial, but it's reality TV and it isn't supposed to be real - it's entertainment. It's fun to watch.
SPM: But there are a lot of stereotypes on that show, right?
Holdren: Well, part of the assumption is that all gay guys are stylish and that's not true either. Gay guys need help, too.
SPM: Is it true that all gay guys like "Will & Grace," Cher and Barbara Streisand?
Holdren: Don't forget about Madonna. No really, I wanna say it's true, but it's not true for every single person in the queer community. But yes, they are queer cultural icons, I think because they stand up for queer people. Cher's daughter is a lesbian and "Will & Grace" has queer people on TV so that's going to draw a large queer audience as well as a straight one, too.
SPM: What about the idea that gay guys make really good friends for girls?
Holdren: Well, there is a term for that...
SPM: Oh yeah, I've heard of that. Fag Hag, right?
Holdren: Well that, and now there's a more p.c. term: fruit fly. I learned that from a girl who was just crowned Miss Fruit Fly by a bunch of drag queens downtown. But yeah, there are obviously different issues between straight women and gay men, but there's a connection in that we're both attracted to men.
SPM: Ooh, who's your favorite celebrity?
Holdren: Definitely Justin Timberlake ... yummy. I got cute for his concert this summer, and I was just listening to his CD in my car. I always think he's singing to me.
SPM: I agree, he is yummy. But besides my boyfriend, I think Adrien Brody is the hottest man around. Oh my gosh, we're talking about boys, am I a fruit fly now?
Holdren: Only if you want to be.
SPM: Yes! OK, one final stereotype question. There has been a lot of debate as to whether or not there is a "gay gene" or if being gay is a matter of socialization. What do you think about this?
Holdren: I think it doesn't matter either way, but I will say it's not by choice. Whatever the cause, it doesn't matter. It's not a choice, and people should be treated equally.
SPM: OK, here's some equality for ya: What are the stereotypes about straight people?
Holdren: Why do straight people have such boring parties? I'm so glad I'm gay - it would be so boring to be a straight man.
Reach the reporter at joy.hepp@asu.edu.
