"Oh, my God, it's capital Barbie!" The blonde is back. And, believe me, we're not talking about the Terminator.
Not every movie has a sequel. Not every sequel will be as good as the first. Call it politics, if you will. Nonetheless, I would be politically incorrect if I didn't mention that politics are definitely involved in this summer's blockbuster sequel to the original 2001 masterpiece Legally Blonde.
Reese Witherspoon turns up the charm full notch once again in her role as former sorority sister Elle Woods, with as much fashion-savvy advice, ditzy demeanor and passion for the pursuit of justice and the American way as the original. All the while she maintains perfectly manicured hands, plans a wedding with the man of her dreams and earns the respect of friends and colleagues by using her Harvard legal know-how-to in fighting against the horrors of cosmetic animal testing.
But this time, she embarks for cutthroat Washington, D.C. where she intends to turn heads in her Jackie Kennedy-Onassis-like business suits, which look great, even in pink. No more chasing after a man not worth her time or efforts. This time she is standing up for the rights of another man in her life: her ever-present Chihuahua sidekick, Bruiser Woods.
The first couple minutes of the movie begins with the voices of Elle's Delta Nu sisters (also back from the first one), Margot Chapman (Jessica Cauffiel) and Serena McGuire (Alanna Ubach) looking through a scrapbook of pictures of Elle and her fiancé, Emmett Richmond (Luke Wilson). These two ditzy, but funny friends of Elle's deliver a much more mild performance in the sequel, barely appearing in the movie at all. I wondered, even in just the first five minutes, if this movie was going to be a desperate attempt to recreate the catchy, cool and charismatic atmosphere present in the original. It was definitely an impossible mission.
The first half-hour of the movie shows Elle Woods prepping and planning for her wedding to Emmett, who is now a professor of law at the university. One hilarious scene is when Emmett receives a phone call from Elle right in the middle of class and answers it. When he gets off the phone, he announces to the whole class, "I'm getting married!" Well, I can't blame him for being so excited. It's just that it seems a little out of character for him in the sequel, seeing as he was kind of a softy in the first one. Well, he still is, but he is a great support system and ego boost for the only occasionally downtrodden blonde.
The movie's threadbare plot opens when Elle discovers that her precious dog Bruiser's mother is being held at one of her VIP name brand cosmetic stores for animal testing. Furious, she pursues legal action in order to free the dog. As the movie rolls on, the plot seems to fall through, since the entire movie is about setting the mother of Elle's dog Bruiser Woods free from animal testing, in order to be able to attend Elle's wedding and be reunited with Bruiser. She had better be prepared for a not-so-green lawn by the time the ceremony is over, and if the wedding is inside, it could be an even greater disaster.
The irony in this is that Elle is familiar with practically every single cosmetic known to man (and woman), yet has never thought of the fact that much of the makeup that she wears on a daily basis may have been tested on animals. Well, after Elle loses her job at a firm she was currently working at, the ever-popular optimist decides to take matters into her own hands - the Elle Woods way.
After kissing her honey goodbye, promising to be only temporarily re-locating to the Capital, and then returning home in time for the wedding, she joins up with the men and women of Congresswoman Victoria Rudd (Sally Field's) staff in Washington. Sally Field delivers a solid role as Elle's mentor, who hires Elle to work at the Capital and encourages her co-workers to help Elle in her legal pursuit. She eventually pushes "Bruiser's Bill," a bill that requires all that Elle has to give and more. She cannot do it alone though, without the help of her co-workers who inevitably fall in love with her. She did remodel her entire desk area into a pink shrine of Elle must-haves, though. She faces a huge challenge with a certain political insider and Chief of Staff, Grace Stoteraux (Regina King), who seems to hate Elle with a passion.
Expect a few cheesy surprises here and there, with the "Snap Cup," which is irritably similar to the ever-popular "Bend and Snap" technique of the original, in which Elle's personal beauty consultant and friend, Paulette, earned herself a much more confident personality and won over a certain delivery guy. The two must have had a shotgun wedding, since there is a scene of a little boy who appears to be Paulette's son wearing the same brown delivery shirt as his dad's, perched on the counter of Paulette's salon. However, it didn't seem as funny watching her say "It makes me want a hotdog r-e-a-l bad!" towards the end of the movie as it did in the preview. Paulette's other stupid phrase, "You look like the Fourth of July!" earned its merit, since I did see it on the Fourth after all. It's all sort of cheesy humor, but maybe funny if you like screwball comedy.
It would be unfair of me not to mention that Bob Newhart slips in a very important role as the Watergate doorman, Sidney Post, who always is ready to offer Elle a smile, encouragement, and insider information to help her win the animal testing battle. The movie's plot seems to get sillier and sillier, even though she is determined to stake out a Washington million-dog march to get the attention of Congress in passing her dog's bill. Perhaps the stupidest part is when the film grasps for very cheap laughs in the bit about the sexual orientation of her dog Bruiser and the dog of a congressmen. This is the part that really got to me. It obviously could have been left out, and should have been. Who knows what the writers at MGM pictures were thinking on this one; I don't even want to know.
It is noteworthy to point out that there were a few laughs at the Delta Nu cheerleading squad's little performance to rally the troops for signatures to pass "Bruiser's Bill," near the last half hour of the movie. Who let the dogs out? Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. I suppose all this animal love is what makes the film cute and loveable, if you're into that sort of thing. But just don't expect fireworks or the same cunning script that erupted from the first film a few years ago. If you go, you will be in store for a few laughs, but don't expect a sis-boom-bah parade of talent.
With the exception of Witherspoon, who is the glue that holds the movie together, this movie would have crumbled at the get-go. Witherspoon, being one of Hollywood's most celebrated actresses, has starred in roles she carried very well, such as in the recent Sweet Home Alabama, The Importance of Being Earnest, and a few year's older, Cruel Intentions. Without her natural grace and charm, Legally Blonde 2: Red, White, and Blonde would be legally bonded to B-movie status, and virtually become an instant illegality, even to blondes demanding worldwide domination. But they've earned an A for their efforts in attempting to keep the girl power thing alive.
Wait, let me rephrase that; how about just a little respect? I do respect the writer's efforts to maintain this and the inspiration these movies might have on millions of blondes everywhere who know that there is more to themselves than fashion "dos" and "don'ts" and how to style their hair. But do blondes really still have more fun? I guess if you're Elle Woods, you're legally entitled to it. Maybe a little bit of her optimism could do us all a world of good. But I was inspired enough from the first one.
Now, I might cringe at the thought of a possible Legally Blonde 3. But, who knows, maybe it will be better than the sequel, but it would take more than girl power and pink fuzz to beat out the original. Can Reese Witherspoon save a third LB? I think I will leave it up to all the blondes out there to go and see it if it gets made. Maybe next time a blonde should write the review.
Stephanie Anderson is a reporter for the Web Devil. Reach her at stephanie.j.anderson@asu.edu.
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