Skip to Content, Navigation, or Footer.

Wins? ASU students want coaches who can party


In light of the recent actions of Iowa State basketball coach Larry Eustachy and Alabama football coach Mike Price, some ASU students are planning a movement to bring the two head coaches to ASU in order to establish a program that the group said "will better promote the school's party image."

"You look at the current Athletic Department and all you see are bland coaches just looking to win games," said Brandy Slotter, a massage therapy major at ASU. "That's ridiculous! ASU is a party school. We want a coach who parties."

Slotter said that Eustachy is more than qualified to coach the Sun Devils.

"We all saw that picture of him with those girls at Kansas State," Slotter said. "Our girls - including myself - are way hotter than them and we can pound beers way harder than those Wildcats.

"Rob Evans can coach basketball, sure," Slotter continued, "but can he drink? Who knows? I know I haven't seen him at any of our parties at Manzy."

Price, who used to coach at Washington State, could bring a similar attitude to ASU. Caught frequenting a strip club in Florida and allowing a random woman to charge $1,000 to his hotel bill, more than qualifies him in the eyes of Randy Edendale, a leisure and recreation junior.

"Oh yeah, I remember this one time, when Washington State played ASU and Price coached them, we saw him later that night at a strip club," Edendale recalled. "He was going crazy at Dream Palace, right up on stage, shaking it with the girls. That's what it's all about at Arizona State. Shakin' it man, shakin'

Want to shake it with the girls? Post your opinion in the forum below.

DISCLAIMER

The only reason this is here is to prevent money-grubbing scumbags like your mom from suing our asses for pretending to be shocked by the fact that what you are reading is fake. There's no possible way anyone in their right mind could believe that anything within the pages of The Stale Mess is true. So tell your mom to get off our jocks and eat her bonbons. The Stale Mess is pure lies, pure fun. Enjoy. Click here for some real news.


Continue supporting student journalism and donate to The State Press today.

Subscribe to Pressing Matters



×

Notice

This website uses cookies to make your experience better and easier. By using this website you consent to our use of cookies. For more information, please see our Cookie Policy.