Early this morning, a student slept on a sidewalk with nothing but a crocheted sweater to keep her warm. She used a Frisbee as a pillow - the same Frisbee she used to stave off the boredom of her long day in front of the Towers, waiting for parking decals.
Nearby, another student slept in her comfortable bed with a warm comforter and down pillow, an alarm clock, telephone and a half-eaten box of Oreos on her nightstand.
Can you tell which of these students is holding the dreaded "59," and which one got her desired parking decal?
Which one was pelted with a half-eaten burrito by a drunken passer-by while the other one got sleep?
Which student had a dream about small eight-legged creatures crawling inside of her nasal cavity and colonizing it while the other one dreamt of sleeping on a giant marshmallow?
It's a harsh and somewhat humorous reality when May rolls around each year, and the sidewalk outside the Towers fills with people who are either clueless or phoneless.
Inside the Towers today, there are five cashiers ringing up students for next year's decals. At the same time, there are 200 automated SunDial lines open to provide the same services for those who got a good night's sleep.
The whole system seems unfair, and it ought to be revamped into an entirely automated system, at least for the first week of sales. After that, the in-person visit should be reserved for strange cases.
But the fact that this even happens - an entire sidewalk lined with college students desperate for a close parking spot - speaks to a much larger problem.
Bear with us on this. Most of us are equipped with these bizarre appendages called legs.
Through complex interactions of nerves, synapses and muscle fiber, they can carry entire human bodies across far distances - even as far as Lot 59.
The convenience of a nearby parking space is not lost on us. It's nice to park close, but it's not the end of the world if you have to walk 15 minutes a day.
It shouldn't be the case that, in the words of accounting sophomore Dan Tadano, "Money is not an issue. I'm not going to walk."
You would think some surly pirate was poking Tadano with a sword and asking him to walk a plank over waters infested with sharks and shrieking eels.
All right, maybe you wouldn't think that if you weren't as obsessed with pirates as we are, but it's still a dumb thing to say.
It's sad people slept on concrete beds only to get beat out by fast dialers. But it's worse that they felt they had to camp out in the first place.
Would you camp out to avoid having to park in Lot 59? Post your opinion in the forum below.
