Michael Moore is a child. There's really no other explanation for him. For those of you who don't know, Michael Moore is a political partisan who dreams of a day when communists rule America.
The tone, tactics and logic of these statements may seem absurd, and they should. Personal attacks, unsubstantiated accusations and specious generalizations such as these are common tools Michael Moore and political hacks of his caliber use to "prove" their point.
In the 2000 presidential dispute, Moore compared the actions of Republicans to those of Nazis during the Holocaust. To most, comparing the slaughtered 6 million people to legitimate disagreements over election law would seem intellectually dishonest and morally reprehensible, but not to Moore.
The day after Sept. 11, 2001, Moore wrote a column blaming American foreign policy and Republicans for the toppling of the World Trade Center. He did this despite the fact that Democrat Bill Clinton was in charge of America's foreign policy a good eight years before the planes were hijacked.
Moore went on to accuse Americans of being racist since many speculated that the attacks were performed by Arabic terrorists and not the probable culprits, "a couple of ex-military guys who hated the federal government." Oops.
But it is difficult to top the absurdity of Moore's latest anti-gun film, "Bowling for Columbine," in which Moore claims the NRA and the Ku Klux Klan are two branches of the same organization, the America media is racist because it lists the race of crime suspects and that President Bush is using racist fear tactics to take out an Arab leader, Saddam Hussein.
In his most ridiculous segment, "A Brief History of America," Moore puts forth the hypothesis that America was founded by paranoia and fear, creating America's thirst for guns.
The segment begins with the Pilgrims bringing their guns to the New World and "massacring a people." After raping and pillaging the land, the Pilgrims start the African Slave Trade, because "they didn't want to work."
After losing the Civil War, white Americans bought more guns because they were frightened by the newly freed blacks who, by the way, "wanted to live in peace and harmony."
Fast forwarding to modern times, Moore hypothesizes that white suburbanites buy guns out of racist, paranoid fears of minorities, and these impoverished minorities are forced to steal from the suburbanites.
Anyone with a high-school education can recognize that these claims go far beyond historical inaccuracy and leap into the realm of historical fiction.
For instance, slavery began long before America even existed and was instituted by other Africans and continental Europeans. And, by the way, whites died by the hundreds of thousands to free these blacks they were so afraid of.
Instead of pushing an agenda and a set of ideals, liberals of Moore's ilk choose to push tired, debunked scare tactics: Republicans want to dirty your air, pollute your water, throw the elderly onto the streets without health care, deny children education, give all of your money to the "wealthy" and sleep with your spouse while you're at work.
Last Tuesday, the day Moore claimed would be "the day that George W. gets taught a long overdue lesson," receive the "Mother of all shellackings" and be "denied Congress," is the day Republicans beat a trend dating back to the Civil War and gained seats in both the House and the Senate.
Perhaps this is the sign that the tired, illogical personal attacks by many in the political left have lost all impact on a wary public, and that political hacks will be taken for what they're worth and nothing more.
Then again, maybe one day us scared white folk will stop buying guns that force oppressed minority folk to kill.
Joshua Billar is a chemical engineering graduate. Reach him at joshua.billar@asu.edu.
