There's one key moment that tells ASU students fall has arrived: the monotonous pattern of newly-pumpkin-spice flavored items attacking grocery store shelves.
Starbucks lovers all over the world have posted thousands of times about what seems to be the pilot of pumpkin spice flavors: the pumpkin spice latte. This coffee is taking over Snapchat stories, Instagram posts, Facebook statuses and Twitter feeds. However, more obscure companies have taken to this obsession, creating a pumpkin spice flavor for their own products.
Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton has even taken a stance against pumpkin spice lattes, saying they have too many calories, which did not sit well with those at the Washington Post. If Clinton had been asked to try the following ten items, she might also disapprove.
Eggos
Channel your inner Leslie Knope with some waffles, but make sure to check the label and not mistake your buttermilk eggos for pumpkin spice ones. These disgusting disks will not spice up your morning, it might actual ruin it.
Pumpkin Spice Country Crock Butter
If you didn't follow my advice above, then this butter is best for you. What other uses could pumpkin spice margarine have? It's definitely not recommended for your grandmother's cookie recipe anytime soon.
Oreos
America's favorite cookie has been corrupted. With Oreos' expansion of flavors from birthday cake to cotton candy, pumpkin spice is the last straw.
Chobani yogurt
If we could all be as happy as women in yogurt commercials, the world would be a better place. However, if the same women were presented with this flavor in the name of a commercial, you'd see more tears than smiles.
Pringles
If you've ever used the phrase "single as a pringle" maybe it's time to meet that special someone, at least for this season.
Gum
You're standing in line at the grocery store and see Wrigley's Extra trying to market to you their pumpkin spice flavored gum. If you hate yourself, then spend the $2 to chew on pumpkin cardboard.
Protein
Trying to get those gains? Looking for a swolemate? Stray away from any type of pumpkin spice protein. Spend 30 more minutes at the gym instead.
Marshmallows
It's still way too hot in Arizona to warm yourself up with a cup of hot chocolate. When it becomes socially acceptable to drink hot chocolate, stay away from these squishy lies of marshmallows. They will contaminate the chocolaty goodness.
Hummus
Depending on where you get hummus, its flavor is usually a hit or miss, but pumpkin spice flavored hummus is a definite no-no. There is no sane thought behind spending more than $10 for a package of mush that tastes like pumpkins. Just no.
Lasagna noodles
The last and definitely least appetizing pumpkin spiced food is lasagna noodles. Not even Buddy the Elf would eat these during the holiday season. Stick to M&Ms and maple syrup to spice up your noodles. It's much more appetizing.
Twenty out of 20 doctors will agree that the above items are bad for your health and social status. It's okay to be basic, just be cautious with what pumpkin spice-flavored items you consume beyond the doors of Starbucks.
Send the reporter what pumpkin spice items you've scoffed at to rsantist@asu.edu or follow @ryanerica18 on Twitter.
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